The adventure of Jhamywhoops

Beki and Homos attack Taguig!

2012-01-25T13:03:00.000-08:00

Ang aking pamilya

Tatay Jao - Tomboy.Ang ama-amahan nang tahanan. Mahilig sa airsoft. Nakiki K-POP ang ibang outfit. Seryoso, matanda at mejo malandi (Lol)

Mama Amber - Kung may mother goose sya ay ang mother gay.Ang ilaw nang apartment. Taga luto at pagalet ke beki lalo na pag makupad kumilos. Mahilig sa Apple products. Ginagaya ang whistle ni Mariah.No boys daw sya ngayon. (weh?)

Scrimina (ako yun) -Nanonomboy.Bansag saken ni beki nung hinandle ko sila sa isang account (lage daw akong sigaw nang sigaw eh!). Mahilig kumain.Complicated ang love life. Lakas maka bi-polar ang ugali (in short topakin).

Jaq West - Ang nagiisang straight sa buong pamilya. Tahimik.Minsan may sariling mundo. Hobby nya ang maglaba. Complicated den ang love life. Madaldal at makulit lalo na pag nakainom.

Bekimon - Ang baklang pinaglihi sa kangaroo at kakulay nang peanut butter. Mahilig sa online games. Kung hindi sya nag PPSP, wala syang ginawa kundi sumayaw,tumalon at magpapapadyak. Madalas kaaway ni Francis.

Francis HB - Ang Queen Kuneho nang apartment 5 and 6. Mahilig sa booking (past life nya siguro librarian sya?). Mahilig sa rampa at beauty contest. Favorite food nya ay mephenamic.

Wala lang.. napaisip lang ako..

2012-01-24T09:27:00.000-08:00

I cannot believe I am already 28. Feeling ko pinaglipasan na ako nang panahon. Feeling ko zero na ang market value ko. Feeling ko, sa edad kung ito ang hirap nang makahanap nang totoong kaibgan. Totoong tao. Ang jahe naman kase kung makikipag halubilo at makikipag tropa ka sa mas bata sayo. Minsan kase iba ang trip nila, d ko magets.

Madalas mas gusto ko na nga ngayun, quiet time. Nakahiga sa sofa o sa kama habang naonood nang TV o nagbabasa nang libro o nagpopoker sa phone. Though madami pa akong gustong gawin sa buhay ko, hindi ko naman masaikatuparan lahat dahil unang una hindi naman kalakihan ang budget ko at pangalawa hassle ang schedule ko. Well swerte na nga ako at sat and sun ang day off ko, pero kung gusto ko mang gumala, kulang ang dalawang araw.

Ganon pala yun no, ang hirap kapag nabuhay ka sa maraming kaibigan. Yung tipong kahit san ako pumunta may kakilala ako. Ngayung parang ilag na ako. Mula nang may nangyareng di maganda saken kamakailan, sa panahon ngayun d ko na alam kung sino ang dapat pag katiwalaan at sinong hindi. Naninibago tuloy ako, date date ang saya saya kase madameng kumakausap, bumabati at nang iimbita saken. Ngayun, piling pili na lang ang mga taong natira at tinuturing akong kaibigan. Wala naman masamang tinapay saken kung tutuusin, kaya lang minsan kelangan nalang i let go ang mga taong hindi maganda ang ginawa sayo. Di ko nalang pinpansin ang mga mapanghusgang tingin nang iba.

Habang tumatanda ka pala madami kang natutuklasan tungkol sa buhay. Madaming nagbabago sayo. Mananamet,mananalita, ugali, pananaw sa buhay. Nagiging mature ka pagdateng sa pag dedesisyon nang isang sitwasyon. Matututo kang mamile nang kaibgan at kung sino ang sasamahan. May mga birong sa tingin mong hindi na nakakatawa at may mga sitwasyong makakapapekto sayo na madadala mo hagang pagtanda mo.

Sa pagtanda ko, gusto ko maging mahusay sa larangan na pinasok ko, mapagsilbihan ang nanay at mga kapatid ko. Makamtam ang mga materyal na bagay na inaasam asam ko. Tangaalin ang mga masasama kung ugali na hindi naman tumutulong sa pagunlad ko. Magakron nang taong mag mamahal saken at magiging kasabay ko sa pag unlad ko. At higit sa lahat, gusto ko yung mga taong naniwala saken, yung mga taong nagbigay saken nang lakas nang loob, mga taong naging parte nang buhay ko maging masaya man o malungkot, sana hindi sila magsawang maging kaibigan ako.

Virtual MakeOver

2012-01-23T06:50:00.001-08:00

Its been awhile since I last posted something here. My previous account was so.. so.. I cant even find the right word to describe it. Lets just say uber haggard..

Okay so I was now moved to a new account (1 agent only). All I have to do is make sure the agent's not sleeping (Not to mention barging for like 5 hours). To keep my brain from being idle, I surfed the net to find and was able to find this site where you can do makeovers. All you have to do is upload your pic and you can put make-up and wigs.. Cool.. See for yourself:

Nagpupumilit na bangs look

Super Morena look

Red lips or pink lips?

To Curl or not to curl?

I must say, I like the curly hair. It looks good on me (angat nang bangko?). Thanks www.taaz.com, I was awake the whole shift. hehe

xoxo

Lets help our kapwa kagay-anons!

2011-12-21T06:35:00.000-08:00

GLAM ROCK 2011

2011-12-20T12:41:00.000-08:00

FUN!!

KUNG FU fighting

2011-12-16T13:19:00.000-08:00

Anderson Show

2011-12-16T06:04:00.000-08:00

This morning,I watched the Anderson show and his topic was very interesting. It was about transgender kids. Hindi ko naisip na pwede pala mangyare yun. I mean as early as 5 years old nag tratransition na sila. One kid, actually wanted to cut his penis. It was a bit shocking kasi naiisip na nang mga bata ang ganong paraan. 2years old palang nga daw nakikita na nang parents nang mga kids na to na iba sila.

This strengthen my belief na being gay is never a choice, natural na lumalabas sayo yan. Siguro yung iba lang sa latter part na nang buhay nila. Pero hindi mo pwedeng piliin na maging gay ka dahil lang sa mga nakakasama mo o nakikita mo, Bigla na lang nararamdaman yan, hindi naman yan pinag aaralan o ginugusto dahil uso sya or whatsoever. Siguro nakakadagdag na lang ang mga factors na yun, pero ang tao paren ang makakaramdam kung ano ba talaga sya at kung anong mag papaligaya sakanya.

Ako personally, akala nang mom ko phase lang ang nangyayare saken before. Hindi ko naman inisip sa una na makikipag on ako ako sa babae kasi nung highschool ako ang dami ko namang crush na lalake.Although I was boyish back then, madami den akong lesbian friends, hindi ko naman naisip na magiging ganun den ako.

Nakakainspire ang mga stories sa show na yun. Gusto lang naman nila magpakatotoo sa sarili nila. All they wanted was to be happy. Bilib ako sa tapang nilang iladlad ang totoo nilang pagkatao despite the gender norms, kahit na madaming nag criticize, hindi approve sa transformation nila. At bilib den ako sa parents nila, because full support sila sa changes na nangyayare saknila. They never questioned their kid, di nila sinaktan,pinilet na mag bago. Unconditional love! :)

Ang buhay ay hindi nababase sa katauhan nang isang tao. Hindi ito nababase sa yaman o kung anong abot mo. Its about being true to yourself and the people around you. Ang importante ay masaya ka sa gingawa mo at wala kang taong sinasgasaan.

Live, love and be proud! :)

Check this link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iTYzxqaQUSQ

I MISS YOU BLOG

2011-12-15T08:34:00.000-08:00

I miss blogging. Since hindi ako makapag blog dahil naka block yung page ko sa offcie. Nakikigamet lang ako nang station nang boss ko na dateng taga web development (full access sya!).

Ano na bang nangyare saken.. Got transferred 3x this year (account). Birthday ko, nag house party ako.. Daming issues na nagkalat.. Nalaman...Na-clear.. Naayos? Moved to a new home, got a new lappy and phone.

Wala namang nag bago saken except sa naging choosy ako pagdateng sa mga taong nakikilala ko. Naging wiser ako when it comes to decision making at mag naging mature ako ( i think!) when it comes to love.

Shempre di mawawala ang taon taon kung wishlist:

1. POI -- pangarap ko talaga to!!!!!!! GLOWBALLS GLOWBALLS!

2. DIGICAM - im not really sure kung digicam sya, basta itsurang digicam na na zozoom ang lens! astigg!

3. PSP - forever ko na atang wishlist to, d ko paden nabibili

4.CONVERSE SNEAKERS- love!love!

5.Madaming clothes at shoes -- arte lang? babae paden ako..

6.TV - yung malake lake naman at minipis nipis

Sabay ko na New years resolution at goals ko for 2012 baka d nanaman ako makapagpost eh..Lol:

1. Enroll poi class

2.Umuwi nang CDO

3. Find a better job?

4. Fix birth certificate

5. Mag gym - toning lang

6. Out of town - Bora?Palawan?or somewhere in Bicol (may magandang beach don)

7. Pursue yung business

8.MAGIPON AT MAGIPON

Happy Holidays everybody!Lets all be merry and thank god for the blessings he gave us!

xoxo

So they say..

2011-07-18T06:55:00.000-07:00

Torn

2011-07-18T06:48:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, you have to make decisions even if its against your will..

Beauty pageant gone wrong..

2011-06-13T12:33:00.000-07:00

Host: If you win the pageant, what will you do?

Contestant: If I win this pageant, I will.. I will help my mother finish my brother..

Host: What would you like to say to the foreigners?

Contestant: Please Come back!

Host: How will you describe the color blue to a blind person.How would you do it?

Contestant: That's a very nice question. Keep it up!

Host: Hey, I heard that you almost didn't make it. How did you get here, did you ride or did you walk?

Contestant: Of course did you ride! What do you think of me, did you walk?!

Contestant: Hi Mabuhay! My name is Carmelita Hernandez from Pasay City and I want to be a medicine!

Host: Anong gusto mo paglaki?

Contestant: (little miss Philippines) Maging lalaki po!

Whats on my mind right now..

2011-06-09T14:34:00.001-07:00

I don't know how to start this post..

People might misinterpret it or worst they might take it against me..

Of course I wouldn't want that to happen..

I am already emotionally and mentally stressed..

Nobody even bothered to ask me.. except one..

And I thank you for that..

They say I don't owe anybody an explanation..

True..

The only person that I should talk to is you..

You know that..

I have nothing to say anymore..

I don't wanna blab anymore..

I'm outta here..

I'm just inside my bubble.. burst it if you need me..

Waiting

2011-05-23T07:16:00.000-07:00

I am getting tired of waiting for good things to come.

I am only human..

I dont wanna believe that promises are really made to be broken..

I have waited.. yes..

But now,

Im growing impatient..

and hopeless..

I really don't know what to do now..

A love story..

2011-05-19T13:44:00.000-07:00

,

Naglalaro ako nang basketball nang bigla kung narinig ang pangalan ko. May nag hi-hi daw saken. Dahil di ko naman iyon kilala, dedma lang ako ang nagpatuloy sa pag lalaro. Noong nag time out ang kabilang team, nag punta ako sa bench namen para uminom nang tubig. pawis na pawis ako, parang basang sisiw. Biglang lapet sken ang close friend ko at pinakilala ako sakanya. Shempre, dahil nahihiya ako sa itsura ko matipid na ngiti lang ang aking binigay. Doon kita unang nakita. Doon nag simula ang lahat.

Pagtapos nang laro, sumama na ako sa mga kaibigan ko. Noong nasa kotse na kame, biglang may nag text. Ikaw. Hindi ko naman inakala noon na intersado ka saken. Hangang sa araw araw na text at kwentuhan. Magaan naman ang loob ko sayo. Mabait ka, sweet at matalino.

Nag usap tayo na magbilyar malapit sa school mo. Kakakuha ko lang nang sweldo ko noon sa pag propromo girl ko kaya go ako! kasama ko ang isa kung katrabaho at binaybay namen mula ortigas hangang mendiola. Nakita kita. Kinilig naman ang puso ko. Hindi ko alam baket ganon.

So nag laro tayo, Asaran at yabangan. Talo ka. After nang billiards, nag dinner tayo sa Wendys. May tinatanong ka sa text pero hindi ko naman sineryoso yun. Akala ko nag bibiro lang sya. Patuloy paden ang mag kakamustahan namen sa text pero hindi na tulad date na maya't maya.

Ilang linggo nang nakalipas, nagkita kame nang barkada mo sa morayta, tambayan nang mga chatters na lesbyana. Sabi nang kaibgan mo baket di mo sinagot ang kaibgan ko? Ani ko naman, may ganon ba? hindi naman sya nag tatanong. Kinagabihan nag text ka bigla. Dise-otso nang Decemeber naging tayo.

Kaya lang, magkatpos nang ilang araw hiniwalayan mo ako! Sa kadahilanang player daw ako. May nakapag sabi sayo. Sumama loob ko. Jinudge mo ako agad nang hindi man lang nag tatanong saken. Desperas nang bagong taon, nag lasing ako. Sama sama nang loob sayo. Iniyak ko na lang. Tulog na ako bago pa mag alas dose. Kinabukasan ko lang nakita ang mga messages mo at miss calls mo. Nabuhayan ako nang loob. Gusto mo mag pakita. Gusto mo ako puntahan. Nang tayo muling mag kausap, naging okay tayo. Biglang nag laho ang saket at galet na nararamdaman ko para sayo.

Nakilala ko mga kaibigan mo. Naging close ko sila. Nahihiya nga ako tuwing lalabas tayo dahil lagi mong sagot. Nahihiya ako kase di ko kayang makipag sabayan sayo at sa mga kaibgan mo. Finacially unstable naman kase kame noon. Madaming problema sa pamilya ko. Pasalamat naden ako dahil natanggap mo ang sitwasyon ko. Ganon pa man, pag pera ang pinag uusapan, ilag ako. As much as possible ayuko nga magpalibre sayo. Ayukong ginagastusan mo ako. Nahihiya ako. Basta ganon. Kaya siguro akala mo napaka boring kung kasama. Lahat nang inaalok mo tinatangihan mo. OO lang ako nang oo sa lahat nang gusto mong gawin. Never akong nag desisiyon para sating dalawa.

Aaminin ko na mas matured ka saken sa lahat nang aspeto. Mas matalino ka saken. Ikaw ang dominante sa relasyon naten. Sinusunod ko lahat nang gusto mo. Takot na takot ako sayo. Siguro dahil mahal na mahal kita at ayaw kitang mawala kaya lahat nang gusto mo gagawin ko. Kaya lang hiniwalayan mo paden ako.

Sa mcdonalds, mga hapon. nag kita tayo, nagusap. tinanong ko kung mahal mo pa ako. Unang sagot mo "okay lang". tinanong kita uli, ang sagot mo " more on friendly love". Para akong nabagsakan nang mcdonalds noon. To make things worst, nagkatagos pa ako at bingyan mo pa ako nang pang taxi. Hangang sa pag hihiwalay naten sagot mo paren ako. Nakakahiya talaga. Pero for the record, halos mamatay ako sa saket nang iwan mo ako noon. Naisip ko, kahit na may mga nalaman akong masasaket na bagay nong tayo pa, ininda ko ang saket. Kahet pinagtataguan mo ako noon, ininda ko ang saket. Nag invest talaga ako nang pag mamahal, kaya lang nabigo paren ako. Ang sabi mo saken "dont love me too much", pero hindi ko naman napipigilan ang puso ko. Nainlove lang siguro talaga ako.

Lumipas ang isang buwan, dalawa.. tatlo. Nag try ako mag bf, hindi nag work out. Naalala ko ang mga text mo na pag papaalala. Wala akong pakialam noon kasi bitter ako.galit ako sayo pero mahal paren kita. nakakainis! may mga lumapit na saken pero hindi ko naman sineryoso. ikaw paren kase.

After 6 months, nagpakita ako sa barkada mong naging close saken. Tibay kung magpuntang Mendiola, kala ko kase okay na ako. Hindi pa pala. Masaket paden pala.

Nagkita uli kame nang kaibgan mo sa isang party. Nag improve naman na ang itsura ko sabi nya. Kwentuhan.Inuman.iyakan. Napaaway pa nga ako eh, leche kasing tomboy na yan. Eh lasing na lasing pa naman ako. Nahulog ako sa hagdan. Di sinasadyang natulak ako nang kaibgan mo sa sobrang tense. Remembrance ko ang isang malaking pasa sa kaliwang hita ko. Para akong sumali sa frat.

Umuwi kame sa dorm nyo. Bagsak na bagsak kame sa sobrang kalasingan. Natulog pa nga akong may shades sa ulo ko. lol. Pag gising ko, surprise! Muka mo agad ang nakita ko. Tahimik lang ako all throughout. Sa pag kain naten sa chowking hangang sa pag mamadali mong pumunta sa computer shop dahil may inaabangan kang "friend" mo. Sa pagtulog tabi tayo, pero nakatalikod ako sayo. Hindi gumgalaw. Ilag parin sayo.

Nagsimula ule tayong magtext. Sinasama mo ako sa mga gala nang kaibgan mo. Hindi naman tayo non. Pero dahil mahal na mahal paden kita, pumpayag naman ako. Isang araw, sa fave bar mo sa malate habang nag iinuman tayo tinanung mo ako kaharap ang kaibgan mo kung pwedeng maging tayo, sabi ko "not now". Hindi kase ako sigurado, takot naden akong masaktan mo. Nagiba ang mood mo at bgla umalis para sunduin ang "friend" mo. Ouch sabi ko. Sa isip isip ko wala na talagang pag asang maging tayo.

Kinagabihan, paguwi naten sa dorm nyo. nagusap naman tayo at naging okay na. Nag risk ule ako. Tinanong ko pa ang kaibgan mo noon.. "naging kami ba dahil mahal nya ako o dahil kelangan lang.. parang nanjan na eh". Sabi naman nang kaibgan mo, mahal mo ako kaya napanatag ako. Humingi den ako nang sign. "singsing", sinabi ko den sa kaibgan mo yun.

mas matagal sa 6 months are relasyon naten. Kung susumahin mo mga isat kalahating taon. Masaya naman ako.Sobrang saya. Ganon paden ang tema, nahihiya paden ako dahil laging ikaw ang taya. Kaya lahat nang gusto mo sinusunod ko.Lahat nang sinasabi mo ginagawa ko.

Di ko alam, siguro talagang hindi lang talaga tayo para sa isat isa. Di ko alam kung anong nangyare, palagay ko lang eh nainlove ka sakanya at na fall out of love ka saken. Ramdam ko naman noon na may iba, na confirm ko lang after couple of months. Mas bitter ako noon. Kung baga sa poker nag "all in" ako. Eh ang problema par king lang ako. Sya par alas, talo ako. Tuluyan na akong lumayo. Pagod na ako at sobrang saket na den kase. Yung sign ko.. wala.. hindi mo ko bnigyan nang singsing..

Isang taon bago ako nakarecover.Take note my iba na ako noon, pero ikaw paden ang mahal ko. After 1 year, naghilom na ang mga sugat nang nakaraan at masaya na ako sa buhay ko.Lumipas ang mga araw. Hindi na ako nakibalita although nag uusap at nagkikita paden kame nang kaibigan mo paminsan minsan.Lagpas na ata ang 2 years, nabalitaan ko..Nalaman kung wala na kayo. Ang nagkwento..kaibigan mong kaclose ko. Hindi naman na ako galet sayo noon. Hindi naden ako bitter. Tapos na lahat.

Nagkita tayo sa Antipolo, gumimik nga tayo. Malungkot ka noon dahil alam ko masaket paren sayo ang pag hihiwalay nyo. Tahimik lang ako, pinag mamasdan ka. Wala na talaga akong nararamdaman para sayo. Although aaminin kung, you will always occupy a space in my heart. Ang bungad mo saken "you wanna laugh at me go ahead, i deserve it". Sa loob loob ko tama ka, you deserved it. Pero binura ko ang thought na yun.Tama na ang bitterness.Nakamove on na ako.Pinatawad na kita eh. Hindi ko na kelangan mag maasim.

Bago ka umalis papuntang ibang bansa nagkita pa tayo, lasing na lasing ako. Pinilit kitang sumayaw ayaw mo. Napikon ka saken. At hinila mo ako sa labas at pinagsabihan. Same old you, heheh. Pasensya ka na lasing lang talaga ako. Pati pangungulit ko sayo sa phone dahil di ko alam kung nasan ako. Alam ko naiinis ka sa mga ganong eksena, pasensya ule.

Masaya ako dahil magkaibgan paren tayo hangang ngayon. Alam ko tuwid na ang tinatahak mong daan ngayon. Proud ako sayo dahil isa ka nang ganap na doktora. Gusto ko rin mag pasalamat dahil madami akong natutunan sayo. Salamat sa lahat nang tulong mo at sa kabaitan mo. Dahil sayo naging matatag ako.

Masasabi kung Ikaw ang greatest love ko.

^_^

I love you Sabado

2011-05-16T07:42:00.000-07:00

Last Saturday after my shift, I told my gf that I wanted to go to Cubao Expo. All along she thought that I wanted to buy a pair of sandals. I explained to her that I just wanted to walk around and check out the stores selling vintage stuff.

It was ~~potang ina!~~ hot outside. Deadma na I told myself for I was very excited to go to Cubao. To make things worst, we were stuck in traffic. The heat was over powering the cab's a/c. I can feel that my gf was already irritated so I kept quiet all throughout the trip. After buckets of sweat and a dozen of frowns we were finally there. My gf's mood was changing na, hindi na sya nakasimangot! Yippee! I was all smiles! I felt like I was Dora.. "Ready to Explore".

So, we walked hand in hand as we entered Cubao Xpo. Some of the shops were close or are no longer operational( I was not sure). I started going inside the thrift shops. Cool! I told myself. Ang daming gamet! Cameras, telephones, pictures,bags,glasses,books, magazines..even bottles! Huwaaaw!Astig... Ang daming mga bagay na familiar sa paningin ko....It brought back childhood memories..

I wanted to eat at Bellini's, however, upon checking the resto I assumed that It was fine dinning because of its set up. Cant afford, maybe next time.

So, after a couple of hours my gf and I decided to go to alimall. Man, the place really changed. It was.. better! I was able to buy a dress for 399 pesos. My gf commented that she doesn't like the style, but i didn't listen to her. Im the one who's gonna wear it anyways! We also went to SM and I bought a pair of lavender sandals for only 399 pesos(Take note Figlia pa sya). But it took me like an hour or so to find that pair!

My gf who was very patient the whole time told me that her feet already hurts (poor gah). After I paid for my merchandise, we headed back to alimall to eat. We settled in Savory and ordered 1/2 chicken, 2 cups of rice, pancit and squid(package B). The food was satisfying and It only cost 385 pesos, not bad eh!

We smoked a couple of cigarettes before we decided to go home. I was too tired to even speak. Traffic, too bad nakakabadtrip. We got home almost 9 pm. Exhausted as ever but happy. It was a great experience and I am planning to go back to Cubao. I am hoping more shops will be open when I go back there(cross fingers).

I was able to take some pics but since I am blogging here in the office, I have no way of transferring the pics from my cp to the pc. Sa FB na lang..

Puerto Gallera!

2011-05-10T06:45:00.001-07:00

how i wish id still be lying in the sand.. enjoying the heat of the sun.. watching girls in their bikinis.. checking out cute gay guys flirting with each other..no stress... no work... just relaxing..

One of my dreams actually came true. 2 weeks ago, I was finally able to go to Puerto Gallera.Its a bit over populated but the place looks great. The water's still clear.. The sand may not be as fine as Bohol, what the heck! its better than Nasugbu... What surprised me is when I took a dip, the water's effing cold... Funny, cause the temperature that day was above 25 I think..

Too bad I wasn't able to go snorkeling or fish feeding.. I also wasn't able to explore the famous "Jurassic".. The area where people meet and greet ~~fuck~~. But I had my hair done (braids) and I also got to taste the classic "Mindoro Sling".. My gf told me that we should go to "Mikkos" because she knows the fire dancers and gay entertainers there and Its just the best place to be when you're in PG. Well, at first we were all irritated because it took almost an hour before our dinner was served ( It was not Mikko's fault cause we ordered from another bar). When the liquor was served, all of us loosened up. We were enjoying each other's company. Picture here..picture there..watching the gay performers do their thing..

The following day, we just stayed in the beach the whole morning. I purchased a pair of poi! ive been practicing eversince. I wanna learn how to fire dance! I told my friends.. "I think I have a calling"..LOL

I wish I can extend my vacation.. stay in PG for a couple of days more. Unfortunately, due to the tight budget and schedule... We only stayed there for 24 hours.. But I really had a great time though I didnt get a tan line >:(...

I am going back to PG.. I wanna go back there..Soon!:D

When Bored..

2011-05-09T07:44:00.000-07:00

Sari saring salitang binuo para makagawa nang kwento..2

2011-04-27T06:33:00.000-07:00

Part 1 :Click here

Simula nang nangyare kay Belinda at Simonne, hindi na sila kelan man nag hiwalay. Halos araw araw na silang mag kasama. Sinusundo ni Belinda si Simonne sa kanyang trabaho at sabay silang nag didinner. Minsan magugulat na lang si Simonne dahil nag papadala nang lunch o isang dosenang rosas si Belinda sakanyang opisina. Hindi maipaliwanag ni Simonne ang kanyang nararamdaman. Tila sasabog ang kanyang puso sa galak tuwing silay mag kasama ni Belinda. Ang tamis nang kanyang labi. Ang mga ngiti nyang nakakatunaw. Mga matang nang aakit. Wala naman silang pinag usapang set up. Hindi den sila nag sasabihan nang i love you. Pero hindi naman importante kay Simonne yun. Sa isip isip nya, hayaan na lang nyang i-explore muna ang mundo ni Belinda. Basta masaya sila, sapat na yon sakanya.

Earth to Simonne? Hello! Sigaw ni Mimi kay Simonne habang pinapalo sya nang pamaypay sa braso.

What the? Ano bang problema mo? Bat mo ba ako pinapalo Mimi, singhal naman ni Simonne.

Aba Simonne, kanina pa ako nag uusap dito e hindi ka man lang na rereact, wika ni Mimi. Alam mo hindi na kita maintindihan e, lage kang tulala. nakaabang sa cellphone mo. ngumingiti mag isa. lagi ka na lang wala dito sa apartment bakla! napak mysterious nang lover boy mo! inlove na inlove ka sa taong nag papadala sayo nang kung ano ano sa office. kilala mo ba yon?
OO naman kilala ko, matipid na sago ni Simonne.

E baket ayaw mo pakilala saken? Kala ko ba bffs tayo? tanong ni Mimi.

Saka na, complekado kase. Basta papakilala ko sayo, promise ni Simonne kay Mimi.

Anyways, sabi ni Mimi..as I was saying uuwi muna ako sa Bicol this Monday. Nag file na ako nang leave. Kelangan ko kase asikasuhin yung business namen doon. Alam mo naman, ang isang hacienderang tulad ko e kelangan matuto kung pano patatakbuhin ang mga hecta-hectarya nameng lupain.

Tigilan mo nga ako, sagot ni Simonne kay Mimi sabay bato nang throw pillow. Hecta-hectaryang lupain? Eh, baboyan lang ang meron kayo ha? dugtong neto.

Alam mo friend minsan try mo sumakay saken, sabi ni Mimi Sabay simangot. Ah basta wala ako dito next week. Mga 3 or 4 days lang naman. Kasama ko si Joel. Nakangising wika nito.

si Joel g4 na call center boy? Baket kayo na? tanong ni Simonne.

OO sagot ni Mimi. Nung isang araw lang. Kala mo ikaw lang ang may love life huh. Papakilala ko sya kay Mama at Papa.

Kasalan na ba ang susunod? Pabirong tanong ni Simonne.

Bago nakasagot si Mimi biglang tumonog ang cellphone ni Simonne.

Busy? Kawawa naman ako. ako lang magisa sa condo, tapos umorder ako nang pizza. Wala naman ako kasalo. Baka may ka kilala ka na pwede akong samahan ngayon? :)

Nagreply naman si Simonne..

Hmm.. anong flavor?

Pepperoni and mushroom with extra cheese.. reply naman sakanya..

I'll be there in less than an hour...sagot ni Simonne.

O ano nang sgot mo?at nag iisip ka pa jan kunware! kasalan na ba? Tanong ni Simonne.

Sana.. kilig na kilig na sagot ni Mimi.

Ingat ka lang Mimi baka masaktan ka nanaman,seryosong sagot ni Simonne.

Wag kang bad vibes Rosales. Wag ganon.. sagot ni Mimi.

Bahala ka nga, basta binalaan kita.. Alis muna pala ako, paalam ni Simonne kay Mimi. Lock mo na lang yung pinto baka bukas na ako umuwi.

Landi mo! sabi ni Mimi kay Simonne .

Mana sayo sagot ni Simonne sabay pasok sa kanyang silid para ayusin ang gamit na kanyang dadalhin.

Hey! bati ni Simonne kay Belinda nang bukasan nya ang pinto nang condo nya.

Lumapit si Belinda at hinalikan nya si Simonne sa kanyang labi. Kinilig bigla si Simonne.

Come in, come in. pag papatuloy ni Belinda. Akala ko di ka na pupunta. Tagal mo eh! wika ni Belinda saba'y talikod,kunware'y nag tatampo.

Eto naman, sagot ni Simonne sabay yakap sa bewang ni Belinda. Ang hirap po sumakay nang cab.

Humarap si Belinda at hinalikan nya uli si Simonne.Nag bigay nang kakaibang sensasyon ito kay Simonne. Ang mga halik na mararahan ay unti unting dumidiin. Nang silay maghiwalay, nakapikit paden si Simonne. Pinag masdan ni Belinda si Simonne. Nang naramdam nyang didilat na ang mga mata ni Simonne ay dali daling dumukot si Belinda sakanyang bulsa.

Nang dumilat si Simonne, nanlake ang kanyang mata sa nakaharap sakanya. Isang singsing na nababalutan nang maliliit na bato.

Im inlove with you, pabulong na wika ni Belinda kay Simonne habang dahan dahan nyang sinusuot ang singsing sa kamay ni Belinda.

Hindi makapag salita si Simonne. Bigla na lang tumulo ang kanyang luha. Halong tuwa at takot ang kanyang naramdaman.

Wag ka umiyak please, baka isipin mo pinag mamadali kita or something. Take all the time that you want para makapag isip, gusto ko lang malaman mo na mahal kita.. pag eexplika ni Belinda.

Tara kain na tayo.. yaya ni Belinda kay Simonne pagkatapus nyang punasan ang mga luhang pumpatak sa kanyang mata. Nagsimulang mag lakad si Belinda patungo sa kanyang kitchen upang ayusin ang kanilang dinner nang narinig nyang nag salita si Simonne.

Mahal din kita..

Lumingon si Belinda, Anong sabi mo ulit? tanong nya..

Mahal den kita Belinda.. sagot ni Simonne..

lumapit si Belinda kay Simonne at hinagkan nya to nang mahigpit..

Promise..I'll take care of you.. i love you Simonne..

I love you too Belinda..

Back then..

2011-04-26T06:16:00.000-07:00

I love the smell of old stuff. Old books, furniture, albums...Vintage baby! The scent reminds me of the past. It brings me back to the days when I was still young. When life was simple and less complicated. When computers and cellphones were not yet invented and we would spend most of the afternoon playing street games or watching John and Marcia/Batibot/He-Man and Sheera..

We used to live somewhere in Cubao Quezon city. The house was owned by grandparents. It was a big house. 4 rooms, 2 bathrooms, Kitchen, a big sala and an office for my lolo. On the second floor, there is a small veranda. Outside the house stood a big tree (I am not sure what kind of tree it is). The garage was big enough for a car to fit and there was a mini garden. My lolo also owns the house beside us which was occupied by my aunt and her family. At the back, there were rooms for rent.

I was very much contented with my life back then. Though mom was not around most of the time, my lolo and my tita was always there to look after me. When I started studying, my Lolo gives me 5 pesos (baon) but he tells me to save 2 pesos everyday so that on Christmas, I can buy myself a new toy or shirt. 3 pesos was actually enough to satisfy my stomach. Sometimes, I don't even spend my baon. I wait till Friday and then go to the grocery store near our school to buy a pad of stationary.Yes, I was crazy about stationery's before.

I have lots of friends in the neighborhood too. I remembered one sunny morning when my friends and I decided to look for stray cats at the nearby tambakan. I was able to caught one but the cat scratched me in the eye. I went home running and crying. The following day, my friends kept teasing me I looked like a pirate. My mom covered my eye with a bandage. To avoid infection that's what the doctor told her, cant argue with that.

I also remembered when I was still 5 years old, my cousin died. We were jam packed inside the pick up truck of my uncle when a bus hit us. Everything was fast phased. All I can remember is, me and my two cousins were rushed to the hospital. I was still half awake when I saw my cousin beside me, unconscious. The following morning, I saw my lolo's face smiling and telling me that everything is okay. I wasn't aware that my cousin was in a critical condition already. She died at the age of 12 or 13 I think.

Moving forward.. I'm now 27 years old. I've been independent for 5 years. I work in a call center as a quality analyst. I generate reports on a daily basis and listen to voice files and grade the calls of the reps. Life has been a roller coaster but with god's guidance I am still surviving.

I still talk to my kababata through facebook or send sms via cellphone.I still love cats but I don't own one. I still like stationery's and I still play street games. The house in Cubao is no longer ours though, it was sold years ago. I still remember my cousin's face when we were inside the cab. My childhood memories (good and bad) still lingers in my head every now and then.

The smell of old stuff..Makes me happy and sad at the same time. Happy because it brings back memories.. Sad because I sometimes wish I never grew up. I miss being young and free.

I wanna..

2011-04-25T12:50:00.000-07:00

I wanna go to:

1. Camiguin
2.Palawan
3. Boracay
4. Bohol (again)
5. Davao
6. Zamboanga
7.Camsur
8.Potipot
9.Anawangin (kahit ayoko mag camping)
10. Laiya Batangas
11.Bukidnon (kahit ayoko mag zip line)
12.Dapitan
13.Capiz
14.Ilocos/Vigan
15.Bicol
16.Sagada
17.Benguet
18.Iloilo
19.Pagudpod
20.Hundred Islands (again)
21.Cebu (again)
22. Pampanga
23. Baguio
24. Bataan
25.Subic

26. Batanes
27.Malaysia
28.Singapore
29. Hongkong
30. Macao
31. Dubai
32. Hawaii
33.Guam
34.Spain
35. Australia

36.Camnorte

37.Puerto Gallera (again)

Things I wanna do but I'm too chicken to even try:

1. Scuba diving
2.Bungee jumping
3.Zip line
4.Para sailing
5.roller coaster ride
6.ferriswheel ride
7.Riding a hot air balloon
8. Horseback riding
9. Cebu-"The Walk"
10. Go on camping

I wanted to be one:

1. I wanna be a basketball player

2. I wanna be a rock star
3. I wanna be a lawyer
4. I wanna be a model
5. I wanna be a karate expert
6. I wanna be a singer
7. I wanna be a writer
8. I wanna be a dancer
9. I wanna be stylist
10. I wanna rich and famous

This is it!

2011-04-25T11:12:00.000-07:00

Isa sa mga pangarap kung puntahan.. mapupuntahan ko na! Limang tulog na lang.. Wednesday palang mag iimpake na ako. ... Hindi ganon ka fancy ang place.. Malamang hindi maeexcite ang ibang tao..Pero first time ko! At excited ako.. Mindoro Sling, matitikman naden kita..

Swimwear: CHECK

Sinelas: CHECK

Bag: CHECK

The sun.. The sand.. and The TAN LINES..

I can't wait :D

Galing sa kaibigan kung web designer. :-)

2011-04-18T06:49:00.001-07:00

................

.......

Astig no?

its sooo jam...

wHaT I aM maDe OF.. :)

2011-04-14T14:13:00.000-07:00

Fwends...

2011-04-11T09:47:00.000-07:00

Friend

An acquaintance; A comrade;Someone you like and trust.

They say no man is an island, that is true. I have lots of friends. Childhood friends, schoolmates, people I met online, office mates, friend of an ex that became close to me. People who became part of my own little world. Laughed with me, cried with me and built memories with me.

There are three things life has thought me about friends. One, I've learned that there are seasonal friends and there are friends for keep. People come and go. I know. Friends who stays and loves you in spite and despite of your differences,back you up when you need help, gives you the last piece of kfc friend chicken even though she/he are starving, those are for keeps.

Second, Sometimes we need to choose our friends. Some can be nice to you when you re with them but when you re not looking, they'll stab you to death. There are lots of bitches in our world, so we have to be cautious.

Third, Life thought me not to fall in love with your friend. The mere fact that you are in the same circle, you share the same set of friends and that you are so close to being best buddies. Just think of it, once the relationship ends, its gonna be a hell of a roller coaster for the both of you and the circle that you re in. One may leave the circle.of course there will always be the classic "taking sides"(you know what I mean). Stories passed around like who's fault is it or if there was another party involve. Too much drama, I cannot handle it.

Hey I am not saying the I am a perfect friend to all. I too have my own dilemmas and dramas. I have flaws and an attitude the some may not understand unless they know me. I may not always be around for those who is in need or give the last piece of kfc friend chicken to a friend that's hungrier than me (we share). One thing for sure is I can be real to those who are real to me.

Araw mo ngayon..

2011-03-10T10:00:00.000-08:00

REGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY..

Thanks for the friendship! Long live TATAMONS...

LOVE YAH ANAK....

Jam speaks about his father..

2011-03-10T08:09:00.000-08:00

Did you know that Facebook can actually ruin a person's day?

I was checking my facebook account when I came across my biological father's page. He is in Manila right now, attending the graduation of my half sister.

I suddenly felt pain rushing inside me. I wanted to meet him personally. You know the Hi-I'm-your-first-daughter-kindda-thing (FYI he knows me, I know him). I made an effort to schedule a meet up when I was in CDO with the help of my mom's good friend/distant relative but he was not that cooperative. Okay, so giving the benefit of the doubt, I assumed that since he is a newly elected counselor he might be very busy. But hell, I was only asking a moment of his time and he didn't give it to me. Selfish. It's not like I am going to invade his life or ruin his family. Formality, that's what I told mom when she asked me why I wanted to meet him.

Going back, It just hurts to face the fact that he never really cared. Did I mention that he never even tried to communicate with me even once. Hello, I'm like turning 28 this September. Yes, ladies and gents I'm almost 28 and I have never met my dad.

I admit that I am angry at him for not having the balls to at least explain what had happened before. Why he turned his back on us. Why he abandoned us.

At this very moment I am starting to develop hatred against him. All I wanted is to meet him and know more about him. He already broke my heart many times. He doesn't CARE. I guess, I'll have to deal with that. But I am hoping one day he would realize everything. One day, when his old and can barely walk, he would remember that there was a child born last September 5, 1983 and that child is also her daughter.

Kame date.. kayo ngayon..

2011-03-09T10:24:00.000-08:00

Nagbrobrowse ako nang mga pictures sa FB. Nag checheck nang mga taong nakalink sa mga kaibigan ko. Napaisip ako. Ang dami na palang lesbyana sa Pilipinas. Pabata nang pabata. Mapoporma. Gwapo kung titingnan. kanya kanya sila nang clan o grupo. Pati mga femme nag kalat. Ang dami na den palang nakikipag-on sa lesbyana ngayon. Naisip ko tuloy, ganon den ba ako 10 years ago?

Base sa experience ko hindi pa ganon ka bulgar o ganon ka dami ang mga butch at femme. Well madami nga, pero hindi tulad ngayon. At karamihan nang nakikilala ko alam ko may substance.My personality.Kung baga sa packaging, completo.Well di naman lahat gwapo, pero alam mo na okay sila. Hindi jologs tingnan, hindi bastusin ang mga femme. No offense, opinion ko lang sa mga pausbong na femme at butch ngayon. Mas mahalaga sakanila ang porma at ichura.

Minsan natambay ako sa may taft, isa sa mga hot spots nang mga lesbyana lalo na pag weekends. Attack of the lesbians! Lahat nang ichura, kulay, size na lesbyana makikita mo. Kung sweswertehin ka ay makikita mo may nag rarambulan pa. Ang mga femmes naman, more more kulerete sa muka. Dress to kill. Nagmistulang parang street party ang likod nang Lasalle sa dami nang mga lesbyanang naka tamboy. Nahiya ako sa suot kung black tank top at white shorts. hahaha. parang fashion victim ako. Infairness nakakatuwa silang pagmasdan. Nakakaaliw.

Nung nag punta naman ako sa isang exclusive party sa Malate (niyaya kame nang barkada ko). Kamusta naman talaga. Ako ata ang pinaka matangkad na femme nun (5'6). Kasama ko pa ang aking dateng special friend na butch (5'10 ata? o 11 sya). Twin tower? Mostly mga tao don hangang tenga o balikat ko lang. Giants? Masaya silang panoorin habang nag hihiyawan sila dahil my dance competition na nagaganap sa labas, pero napag tanto ko na hindi ko trip ang ganong crowd. Para akong nag mumurang kamatis.

Siguro kaya ako ganito dahil tumatanda na ako. Iba na kase ang priorities ko sa buhay. Iba na ang trip. Yes, I also go out with my lesbian friends. I drink, get drunk and party till the sun comes out. Hindi ko mapaliwanag pero iba lang siguro ang kinagisnan kung circle. Wild pero hindi naman ung super extreme. Madami den namang players non pero hindi naman bulgaran. Ang mga pampam, loner.. hindi pinapansin.. Sa chat, never akong nakakita nang mag post na " i need a gf anyone single?" or "hanap ka-on". Mas pines.. mas discreet..Iba ang takbo nang pakikipag relasyon noon.

Eto ay opinion ko lang naman. Hindi ko sinasabi na lahat nang bagong generation na lesbian ay katulad nang nasabi kung description. Eto lahat ay base sa obserbasyon ko, nakikita ko, napupuna.

Im getting older, Im getting wiser. Naginging conservative na ako (yak). Manang effect! amft! Pero seriously speaking, matured na ako mag isip sa madaming aspeto. Kaya siguro ganito ko icompare ang mga tomboy noon at ngayon..

Talking..you and me..

2011-02-24T06:47:00.000-08:00

I'm lying next to you,

my head resting on your left shoulder.

I listen to you as you tell me what you did today.

Your laughter is contagious,

Your eyes sparkle as you speak,

telling me how good you are in playing pusoy,

and that you beat everybody.

You also told me about your dream,

how bad it was.

I started to close my eyes but I was still listening to you,

Well, half of my mind was about to doze off to wonderland.

I started to giggle as you continued narrating your bad dream,

Emphasizing that we broke up and I was making a fool out of you.

You teased me by counting the mistakes that I did to you,

I opened my eyes and said "baliw ka? paranoid ka lang.Gusto mo ako naman magbilang?".

I then started venting out,

the things I did at work,

I poured out my disappointments and frustrations.

I reminded you of your promises.

my mood suddenly changed,

I rolled my eyes and then turned my back at you.

You held my hand and drew me close to you.

You hugged me and told me you remember all your promises,

and that I have to wait more.

I just sighed and told you I already heard that before.

But somehow, despite the broken promises,

I still believed in you.

I still gave you the chance that your asking.

I may not be the most sweetest girl you've been with.

You may not be the person I thought you were.

I love you, you love me.

I guess that's enough for now.

Let's talk about tomorrow, tomorrow...

Radom blah blah blah..

2011-02-22T08:48:00.000-08:00

I do not know what I want in life
I do not know which way I should go..

I am already 27 years old and I still act like a kid most of the time.
All I wanted is to be successful in everything that I do.
Ive been struggling all my life to find the right path, to have a perfect life.
The last thing I wanna do is commit a mistake that would hurt other people.
I cry alone. I embrace my problems alone. I pretend that I can handle things my way.
It challenges me when I meet someone more dominant than me.
I easily get frustrated when I don't get what I want or when things don't turn out the way it should be.
I'm broken in the inside.
I found love, once..twice..thrice. But I only fell in love twice.
I love having lots of friends. But I only have a couple whom I consider as friends for keeps.
I am a very loud person. I curse. I consider criticizing other people fun.

People think that I am a very strong person basing on the advices that I normally give them, but honestly I am weak. The persona that I am showing them is just a way to show them that I cant easily be torn apart. In that way they would not push me around or think that I am nobody.

They say as you grow old, you mature,
You learn from your mistakes and you grow from it.
I still commit the same mistakes.
I still consider myself an amateur in the game called life.
I hunger for contentment and total happiness.
I hunger for the real meaning of life.

Sari saring salitang binuo para makagawa nang kwento..

2011-02-18T13:36:00.001-08:00

Unti unting bumakas ang kanyang mata. biglang nagulat at umupo sa pag kakahiga. nasaan ako? anong nangyare kagabe? tanong nya ang kanyang sarili. pinagmasdan niya ang kwarto. Pink.malinis. babaeng babae. hindi akin tong kwarto.may narinig syang yabag nang mga paa papalapit sa kwartong kinalalagyan nya. bigla sya nag talukbong nang kumot. Bumukas ang pinto. Sino kaya to? bulong nya sa kanyang sarili.. sinilip nya kung sino ang taong pumasok sa kwarto.. nakita nyang nakatalikod. tila may inaayos na gamet..Nang humarap ito, nanlake ang kanyang mata..napangiti.. naalala nya na..

(Rewind)

Anong oras matatapos to? tanong ni Mimi kay Simonne. Bored na bored na ako sa seminar na to, d ko alam baket sumama pa ako. Natawa si Simonne, kahit sya batong bato na kaso wala naman syang magagawa kelangan nyang umattend dahil required nang kompanya.Ilang minuto ang nakalipas,narinig nyang nagpalakpakan ang tao. Ayan tapos na, wika ni Simonne. Uwi na tayo. Teka mare, may libre daw na dinner, kain muna tayo. Kelangan ko nang madaming tubig, napanis ang laway ko sa seminar na to. Ilang oras ko deng pinigilang wag mag salita no,sabi ni Mimi habang tumatayo at inaayos ang kanyang bestida. Ok maiksing wika ni Simonne.

Tumuloy sila sa kabilang kwarto kung saan nakahanda ang buffet. Kumuha agad nang plato si Mimi at pumila sa buffet table. Alika na dito ani ni Mimi. Sinunod naman ni Simonne si Mimi at dahang dahang lumapit sa kinaruruunan ng kanyang kaibgan. Wag kang pa virgin bakla, ang tagal mo maglakad, sabi ni Mimi kay Simonne habang papalapit ito sakanya. Namula si Simonne at nang makalapit siya ay binulungan nya si Mimi nang "friend wag ka naman masyadong maingay. Nakakahiya sa mga tao".Tumaas ang kilay ni Mimi at sinabing " Deadma teh, lumafang na tayu nang makagora na". Biglang may tumapik sa balikat ni Simonne.. " Excuse me, no cutting". Pag harap ni Simonne sa taong tumapik sakanya bigla etong natulala. Ang ganda naman netong babaeng to, wika nya..Simple lang ang suot pero elagante. Miss? are you okay? Did you hear what I said? muling tanong nang babae... "Sorry" sabi ni Simonne at umalis sa kinapipilahan nya.No, dont go batid nang babae. Ok lang.. Im Belinda. I saw you earlier sa seminar, actually nasa harap mo lang ako. Napangiti lang si Simonne. Hoy bakla sigaw ni Mimi, doon ako sa table 24 sunod ka na lang sabay lakad papalayo. Is she your friend?tanong ni Belinda. Uh.. yeah, officemate ko po. Sige punta na ako don, nice meeting you Ma'am. Dont call me ma'am hindi ako teacher, Belinda. Belinda Victorino.

Mula sa kinauupuan ni Simonne ay kitang kita nya si Belinda. Hindi maiwasan ni Simonne na hindi tumitig sa kanya. Hoy bakla sino ba inaaninag mo jan? tanong ni Mimi habang ngumunguya nang fish fillet. Nakita mo yung sa table 22? yung babaeng naka red..tanong ni Simonne kay Mimi. Ahh, si Belinda Victorino kilala ko yan sabi ni Mimi. Naging classmate ko yan nung college. Dami nagkakagusto jan eh! kaso di naman namen malaman baket hindi sya nagkakaboyfriend, to think pate prof namen nililigawan sya, kwento ni Mimi. Dugtong pa neto, sabi nang ibang classmate ko bakla daw yan. yung iba naman nag sasabi hawak daw sya nang isang politician kaya hands off ang mga boys dapat. Ganon?di ka naman masyadong chismosa nyan tanong ni Simonne. Hindi naman sagot ni Mimi. Kakainin mo pa ba yang fish fillet mo akin na lang, nahihiya ako bumalik sa buffet table eh! Sige ikaw na umubos nang pagkain ko,matipid na sagot ni Simonne. Binalik nya ang mata nya kay Belinda. Ang ganda talaga nya. Nakakacurious naman sya. Nagatama bigla ang mata ni Simonne at Belinda. Ngitian sya ni Belinda, at sa sobrang hiya naman ay napayuko si Simonne.

O pano dito na ako at magkikita pa kame ni Joel sa g4. Sinong Joel? tanong ni Simonne. Yung katextmate ko, duh! sagot ni Mimi. Eh diba si Roy yung katextmate mo? Tanong uli ni Simonne. Hay nako mare, nag meet na kame ni Roy.Iba to!iba! Ikaw babae ka baka naman maholdap ka nanaman sa gingawa mong pakikipag meet na yan! Babala ni Simonne sakanyang kaibgan. Excuse me Mary Simonne Rosales, iba tong si Joel, Pagtatanggol ni Mimi. Nag wowork sa call center to! madaming pera. and nakita ko na sya sa facebook. pwedeng irampa. Ah ganon ba, e d akin nalang sagot ni Simonne sabay tawa. Chaka mo! akin to! and besides kahit naman na ibgay ko sayo si Joel di mo den papatulan. dba napaka choosy mo! minsan naisip ko tuloy tomby ka at may gusto ka saken! pang aasar ni Mimi. Ilustyunada ka den friend no? kelangan kase maramdaman ko ung kakaibang feeling. alam mo yun! sabi ni Simonne.HINDI, alis na nga ako,goodbye! sagot ni Mimi bago sumakay nang Bus papatung g4. Hoy text mo ko ha! habilin ni Simonne kay Mimi.

Anak nang tinola naman, kaya ayuko mag takong eh sabi ni Simonne sakanyang sarili habang nakaupo sa waiting shed. Nasira kase ang kaliwang takong ni Simonne. Di nya tuloy alam ang gagawin nya. Ilang beses na nyang tinext si Mimi para balikan sya pero di naman ito nag rereply. Napapikit si Simonne sa inis. Biglang may humitong kotse sa harapan nya. " Need a ride? tanong nang babae sa loob. Minulat ni Simonne ang kanyang mata at nakita nya si Belinda. Oh, ikaw pala.ok lang ako.mag bu-bus na lang ako. Sagot ni Simonne. I dont think makaka pag bus ka pa e sira yang sapatos mo point out ni Belinda. Common, wag ka na mahiya.I can loan you a pair of slippers alok ni Belinda. Tumango si Simonne at sumakay sa auto ni Belinda.

You know what, your officemate looks familiar sabi ni Belinda habang nag dri-drive palabas nang Makati. Oo, classmate mo daw sya nung college. sagot ni Simonne.Ahhhh.. ang tanging sagot ni Belinda. By the way whats your name nga pala? tanong ni Belinda. Simonne Rosales, matipid na sagot ni Simonne. Nice name, Simonne may gagawin ka ba? tara tambay muna tayong the fort, treat ko. alok ni Belinda. Hindi makasagot si Simonne. Unang una nahihiya siya kay Belinda, pangalawa hindi sya masyadong umiinom at pangatloa gumagabi na. Ano ka ba naman, dont worry Im harmless banat ni Belinda sabay kindat.

Tumambay sila sa isa sa mga resto bar sa the fort. Nalaman ni Simonne na hindi pala sya hawak nang isang politician, tatay pala nya ay mayor sa probinsya nila. Naconfirm niya ren na hindi bakla si Belinda. Mahaba habang kwentuhan, tawanan at inuman ang naganap. Di napansin ni Simonne na nakaka apat na bote na sya nang Tanduay Ice. Nang tumayo sya para pumunta sa restroom ay nakaramdam na sya nang hilo. Pagbalik nya inayaya na nyang umuwi si Belinda. Pumayag naman si Belinda at nilabas ang credit card para mag bill out. Nag abot nang pera si Simonne pero tinagihan ito ni Belinda. Treat ko nga eh sabi nya.

Nakatulog si Simonne sa auto ni Belinda, nung imulat nya ang kanyang mata nasa loob na sya nang parking lot nang condo ni Belinda. Pag upong pag upo mo sa auto ko, bagsak ka na. di ko man lang natanong kung san ka nakatira kaya dumercho na lang ako sa condo ko explika ni Belinda. Naku sorry ha! nahihilo na kase ako eh pasencia na talaga, mag tataxi na lang ako pauwi sabi ni Simonne. Naku wag na, bukas ka na nang umaga umuwi, alas dos na kaya sabi ni Belinda.

Umakyat sila sa condo ni Belinda. Namangha si Simonne pag pasok nya sa condo. Magagara ang mga kagamitan. Pinag masdan nya ang malaking larawan ni Belindang may suot na puting bestida. Para syang anghel pabulong na sabi ni Simonne.

Lumabas si Belinda may dalang bathrobe at malinis na damet. Tinuro nya kung nasaan ang kabilang CR para makapag shower si Simonne. Tinuro nya kung nasaan nakalagay ang toiletries.Sinabi nya ren na pag katapos nyang maligo ay dumerecho na lang syang kwarto. Sinunod naman nya ang mga sinabi ni Belinda.

Oh tapos ka na pala, wika ni Belinda nang pumasok si Simonne sasilid ni Belinda. Naku salamat sa pag papahiram nang damet ha soli ko na lang pag nalabhan, sagot ni Simonne. Dont worry, ano ka ba. Your my guest, I hope you dont mind na mag shashare tayo nang bed sabi ni Belinda. Umiling lang si Simonne habang humihiga sya sa tabi ni Belinda. Goodnight, Belinda wika ni Simonne. Goodnight sagot naman nya.

Gising ka pa? bulong ni Belinda kay Simonne. OO, namamahay ata ako natatawang sagot ni Simonne. Laro tayo.dapat lahat nang sagot mo eh patanong. Pano yun? tanong ni Simonne.Ganito, pag sinabi ko kunware pagod ka ba? ang sagot mo patanong den tulad nang palagay mo? o kaya ikaw pagod ba? pag eexplika ni Belinda. Ok ang tanging sagot ni Simonne..

B: kamusta ka na?

S:ok lang,, ikaw?

B: Mali dapat nga patanong lahat diba.. pag nagkamali may parusa ha!

S: Ganon?sige.. (tawa).. ok ok round 2

B: masaya ka ba?

S: palagay mo?

B: tingin ko?

S:ano?

B:siguro no?

S:(natatawa) naisip mo na ba yan?

B: ang alin?

S: yung sagot ko sa tanong mo?

B: palagay mo assuming ako?

S: Assuming ka nga ba?

B: Eh baket sabi mo siguro?

S: Masama ba?

B: Hindi naman..

S: aha! talo ka.. nagkamalli ka..

S:Ang daya mo naman..

B: So pano ba yan.. talo ka..

S: So anong parusa ko..

B: eto..

Dahan dahan lumapit si Belinda kay Simonne at hinalikan sa labi. Nagulat si Simonne at nanlaki ang kanyang mga mata. Ano ba to tanong nya sa kanyang isip. Gustong nyang kumawala pero hindi naman sumasangayon ang kanyang isip. Ilang sandali ay unti unti na syang nadadala nang mga matatamis na halik ni Belinda..Bawat dampi nang labi bawat dikit nang mga katawan nila ay lalong nananabik si Simonne. D nya maipaliwanag ang kanyang nadarama. Bastat masaya sya. Sapat na yun.

(Fast forward)

Uminat si Simonne, nag kunwareng kakagising palang nya. Gising ka na pala bungad ni Belinda. Lumapit sya at umupo sa ulunan ni Simonne. Good morning, matipid na bati ni Simonne. Alas dos na pala biglang bangon si Simonne. At dali daling kinuha ang kanyang damet. Teka teka sabi ni Belinda. Magkape ka muna or kumain, alok ni Belinda habang pinag mamasdan nya si Simonne na nag mamadaling kunin ang kanyang mga gamet. Nako, hindi na sobra sobra na ang nagawa mo naakahiya naman. sagot ni Simonne. Yung nangyare kagabe...paumpisa ni Simonne. Wag na lang naten pag usapan, lasing lang ako.kalimutan na lang naten sabi ni Simonne habang naglalakad papasok nang banyo.

Naiwang tulala si Belinda. Hindi nya alam kung anong sasabihin nya o anong pwede nyang gawin para malaman ni Simonne na ang nangyare kagabe ay hindi basta basta laro. Gustong gusto nya Simonne pero alam naman nyang straight to at impossible den naman mag kagusto sakanya si Simonne. Lasing lang siguro sya, kaya pumayag sya paulit ulit na sinasabi ni Belinda sa kanyang sarili.

So papano, aalis na ako. Salamat talaga at pasencia na sa abala, sabi ni Simonne ke Belinda. No problem matipid na sagot ni Belinda. Halatang halata sa muka ni Belinda na nalulungkot sya. Paki lock na lang pag labas mo, Simonne. Ingat ka! wika ni Belinda habang nag lalakad papuntang kwarto.

Sinunod naman ni Simonne ang mga bilin ni Belinda. Dahan dahan syang nag lakad papuntang elevator. Pag sakay nya eh napansin nya ang agad ang mga nakasakay. Isang matipunong lalake, isang babaeng may 40 anyos ang edad. isang bakla at dalawang babaeng mag kahawak kamay. Pinag masdan nya ang 2ng babae. Biglang naisip nya ang nangyare kagabe. Kumalabog ang puso ni Simonne. Di nya mapaliwanag ang nararamdaman nya. Napansin nyang panay ang tingnin nang lalake sakanya ngunit di nya to pinansin at tinuon ang attention sa mag kasintahan. Nang palabas na si Simonne sa elevator, bigla syang kinalabet nang lalakeng nakasabay nya sa elevator. Hi bungad nang lalake. new here? Im Sylvester. Tinitigan lang ni Simonne ang lalake.
Are you ok? tanong uli ni Sylvester. No Im not sagot ni Simonne at dali daling sumakay uli nang elevator.

Nakarinig nang katok si Belinda. Nung una di nya ito pinansin. Ngunit palakas nang palakas ang pagkatok at napilitan si Belindang bumangon. Sino yan? tanong nya? Ako. tanging sagot nang kumakatok. Biglang nagtaka si Belinda. Laking gulat nya nung makita nyang si Simonne pala yun. Pinapasok nya ito. Takang taka si Belinda. Sabihin mo nga saken paumpisa ni Simonne, ano ka ba? baket mo ko hinalikan? Natameme si Belinda, napalalunok hindi sya handa sa komprontasyon. Baket? anong gnawa mo saken? tanong uli ni Simonne. Pumitig ang tenga ni Belinda. Wala akong gngawa sayo, kagustuhan mo den naman yun dba? Hindi ka pumalag sigaw ni Belinda. Lesbyana ako Simonne. Pumapatol sa kapwa. Hindi ko kinakahiya yun. Ngayun kung ano man ang nangyare, kung pinag sisishan mo yun. Kung palagay mo ay naoffend kita pasencia na. Malay ko ba. Nag assume ako na gusto mo den ako. Biglang tumulo ang mga luha ni Belinda, kung wala ka nang sasabihin pwede ka na umalis, paki lock na lang ang pinto ani ni Belinda sabay tumalikod at nag lakad papasok nang kanyang silid.

Narinig na lang nyang sumara ang pinto. Hindi maintindihan ni Belinda ang kanyang nadarama.Masama ang kanyang loob. Hindi tumitigil ang pag patak nang kanyang luha. Narinig nyang may kumatok uli. Marahil yan ang inorder nyang tubig. Bumangon ito ang dali daling pinahid ang kanyang muka. Tiningnan muna ang sarili sa salamen bago tuluyang labasin ang taong kumakatok sa kanyang pintuan. Pag bukas nyay, laking gulat nya na si Simonne ang nakita nya. Hindi nya alam ang kanyang sasabihin.

Alam ko galet ka saken, marahil ayaw mo na akong makita. pero gusto ko lang malaman mo, bago ako sa ganito.Hindi ako sanay. Naguguluhan ako sa nararamdaman ko. Masaya ako. Hindi ko pinag sisisihan ang nangyare saten. Sabi ni Simonne kay Belinda. Napangiti si Belinda. Bigla nyang niyakap si Simonne. Dont worry,bulong ni Belinda kay Simonne. I'll take care of you,,

Love? oh yeah Love...

2011-02-15T12:06:00.000-08:00

Love is a choice. I know you cant choose who to fall in love with but you have the option to pursue the feeling or ignore it, right?

I do not believe in love at first sight. Its more like attraction at first sight.

Love is a battlefield. You have to fight for it, do the best that you can to keep the relationship working.

Love is a two way street. Give and take. Compromise.

Love can change your entire being. Your life style. The way you act. The way you handle situations.

Love is deceiving. It gives you signal that you are in love but after analyzing the whole thing you end up being infatuated with the person.

Some people are just in love with the thought that they are in love. But logically speaking, there is no love at all.

For me love is like a chocolate. You savor every bite. Makes you happy. You enjoy. But when its all gone, you then throw the wrapper and get a new bar.

Life..oohh..Life...

2011-02-09T10:45:00.000-08:00

1. You will receive a body.

You may like it or hate it, but it will be yours the entire period.

2. You will learn lessons.

You are enrolled in a full-time informal school called Life. Each day in this school you will have the opportunity to learn lessons. You may like the lessons or think them irrelevant and stupid.

3. There are no mistakes, only lessons.

Growth is a process of trial and error: experimentation. The "failed" experiments are as much a part of the process as the experiments that ultimately "work."

4. A lesson is repeated until learned.

A lesson will be presented to you in various forms until you have learned it. When you have learned it, you can then go on to the next lesson.

5. Learning lessons does not end.

There is no part of life that does not contain its lessons. If you are alive, there are lessons to be learned.

6. "There" is no better than "here."

When your "there" has become a "here," you will simply obtain another "there" that will again look better than "here."

7. Others are merely mirrors of you.

You cannot love or hate something about another person unless it reflects something you love or hate about yourself.

8. What you make of your life is up to you.

You have all the tools and resources you need. What you do with them is up to you. The choice is yours.

9. Life is exactly what you think it is.

You create a life that matches your beliefs and expectations.

10. Your answers lie inside you.

The answers to life's questions lie inside you. All you need to do is look, listen, and trust.

11. You will forget all this.

12. You can remember it whenever you want.

Nakakamiss.. Nakakaiinis...

2011-02-08T13:50:00.000-08:00

I miss my friends. My drinking buddies. My kachikahans. I havent been going out lately. One because I have the biggest salary in the whole wide world, two Ive been busy with my love life, three work is killing me and our schedules always doesnt match.. Sino ba ang namimiss ko.. eto:

Tentay - Ang tagal as in ang tagal na nameng d nag kikita neto.. To think malapit lang naman ang office namen sa isat isa.. Sa panget nyang schedule at sa Sat & Sun off ko.. Hindi talaga kame nag tutugma.. lol.. Proud ako sa babaeng to! Very smart and not to mention nagiging sexy.. Sana magkita muna kame bago maging 26 ang waist line nya..

Eiffel - Ewan ko ba sa taong to baket d kame nag kikita.. Wala naman syang ibang pinagkakaabalahan maliban sa pag tour around singapore nya.. Dapat MIA pangalan neto.. Lage kaseng MISSING IN ACTION. Palibhasa mas gusto pa ata nyang makipag meet kay Tentay kaysa saken...samen.. (nag iinarte?).. Sayko sayko kase.. tsk.. tsk..

Joey - May kasalanan saken tong babaeng to e! kase nung umuwi sya ang promise nya mag kikita kame.. Dadaan nang market market.. E hindi.. tsk..tsk.. Sana makaalala sya pag sakaling umuwi sya.. Kung kelan man yun..

Cara - Hm.. kelan ba last nateng nagkita? matagal tagal na yun.. at sa EME pa ata ang last.. Busy sa work malamang.. Kahit mag BBM madalang na madalang kameng mag usap..

Macy - Busy na busy naman talaga ang babaitang itey.. ikaw na boss nang QA department.. SER! lol.. mga ilang kembot lang e pwedeng pwede na kame mag meet at mag inuman..kaso, ewan lageng hindi na tutuloy..

Mia - Baket kase nauso ang salitang "busy".. pate si Mia nahawa.. hahaha! Miss ko ang kakulitan at ingay netong babaeng to.. Wag na tayu mag susuntukan ha? hahaha!

TATAMONS - alam ko lageng d matuloy tuloy kase lage akong late mag text.. Kung d man, eh... hindi nag mamatch ang schedules.. ikaw na kase ang docktor,politician at dyosa.. pano naman ako makakasinget sa schedule nyo? hahahaha..

Good Life peeps - Sana maramdaman ko naman ang prisensya nyo.. nakakamiss kase kakulitan nyo! Try nateng mag EME for a change.. lol..

Mga kababata ko - kase naman wala ako lageng oras.. D ko den alam mga numbers nila..paiba iba kase.. sa FB ko na lang nakikita ang mga nangyayare sa buhay nila.. Nakakamiss ang bonding at inuman..

Ang mga NOT so's - I know.. I know.. may kanya kanya na tayung company na pinapasukan. Habang akoy nabubulok dito.. watak watak naman kayo.. nagkalat sa ibat ibang centers.. Miss ko na ang englishera pag lasing.. ang nag chichiken dance.. mga pasaway at mga makukulet.. Miss ko na kayo ka jamming..

College friends kung ARKI at Gingineers na ata ngayon at si MAM- Sana matuloy ang reunion.. Kaso ang problema ang iba nasa ibang bansa naman..

JABS - bespren ko na nasa australia.. Umuwi nga sya 2 years ago ata, pero twice lang kame nag kita. nakakainis.wala kameng chance para makapag usap.makapag kwentuhan. hectic den kase schedule nya.dami den kase syang friends. Namimiss ko na ang pagiging maingay mo! Lalo na mga kalokohan mo.. hahaha!

POMZ - bff ko nun college...jeniper jeniper asan ka? ay ako pala ang lageng wala.. amft.. sorry naman! bawi ako sayu.. alam ko indyandera ako minsan.. bsta makakabawi den ako!

CATHEE - shempre naman.. sino pa ba ang kasama ko sa shift ko.. haha.. ym ym.. kaso pakingshet na bagong account ko.. walang chat! grr... hindi tuloy na tayu makapg chismisan at mag palitan nang mga kuro kuro.. kamusta na ang hindot mong officemate na akala nya sya lang pinagpala nang dyos pagdateng sa pag babakasyon? hahaha.. i baon na dapat yan sa disyerto! Basta malapit ka na umuwi, at gagala tayo!

LP Peeps - EME?EME? Dba nakakamiss ang EME? EME? Ang tagal na nateng d nag pupunta doon eh.. hehehe..

Nakakaiinis sana may isang linggo sa isang taon na lahat nang tao walang pasok.. para magawa nila lahat nang gusto nila.. para makasama nila ang mga taong nag bibigay kulay sa buhay nila.. nakakamiss kayung lahat.. nakakaiinis!

TsugTsug

2011-01-25T13:40:00.000-08:00

Daming nangyare saken this past few months. Sa love life.. sa work.. Sa buhay.. Minsan naisip ko napakagaling ko palang tao, kase nakakaya ko lahat. Superwoman ika nga nila. Pero kung iaanalyze mo naman ang mga nangyayare saken, wala pa sa kalingkingan yan sa mga naranasan nang ibang tao. Maraming ganon ah. Isang kahig isang tuka kung tawagin nila. Nagtitiis para mabuhay. Nagtitipid para makatulong sa pamilya. Kung san sang sulok nang mundo mo sila makikita. Pwedeng officemate, pwedeng kapitbahay, pwedeng isa sa mga nakakasalubong naten pag umuuwi tayo sa trabaho. Nakabanga mo sa MRT, nakasabay mo sa BUS o jeep, nakatabi sa tindahan o nakita mong nagsasayaw sa entablado..

Siguro may two weeks naden nung nakapasok ako sa isang girly bar na pag mamayare nang kaibgan nang gf ko. Hindi naman sya bonggang bar na alam mong puros mayayaman at sikat ang naktambay. Simple lang sya, decente nga kung titingnan kumpara mo sa mga pipichuging bar na madadaanan sa marcos highway o san man. Dito nakita ko pano sila mag trabaho. kung anong hirap ang nararanasan nila para magkaron lang sila nang allowance pang araw araw. kelangan nilang uminom, minsan piliting uminom para lang maka quota.Para buo ang perang ibibigay sakanila. kelangan nilang mag pahawak, umarteng tuwang tuwa sila sa customer na kasama nila. Kahit alam mong kung bibigyan naman sila nang pag kakataon eh sasaksakin nalang nila sa leeg para manahimik.

Natanong ko ang kaibgan nang gf ko, baket tuwing nag sasayaw sila, wala akong maaninag nang ngiti na sumasabay sa indak nang tutugin. Ang sabi naman nya, " eh kung ganyan ba naman mga customer mo, talagang hindi ka gaganahan". Napatingin tuloy ako, nag masid. Oo nga naman, kung ang mga customer mo eh mga manong na hayok sa laman eh hindi ka naman talaga gaganahan. Kung mga lalakeng tipong isang libag na lang ang hindi pumipirma sa katawan nila para matawag silang taong grasa, hindi nakakainganyo. Pakshet sabi ko sa sarili ko! Sana may requirement ang bar na yun. Bawal ang mga ganong klaseng tao.

Hindi ko kinukutya o d naman kaya minamata ang ganong klaseg trabaho, bagkos naging palaisipan saken ang buhay nila. Kung anong merong ugali ang mga babae nag tratrabaho sa bar. Kung mas totoo ba silang tao kumpara mo sa ibang tao na mas malake ang sweldo kaysa skanila.

Alam ko naman na ang buhay nang tao e nakadepende sa capabilidad nang bawat nilalang. Diskarte.Tyaga. Choice. Kung ako nag sisipag ako mag trabaho sa call center para mabuhay kahit mala black eye na eyebags ko, isang kutsara na lang dugo ko sa katawan dahil sa kakapupuyat, halos isuka ko na ang pag eenglish at mamatay matay na ako sa dami nang trabaho, sila naman mas gusto nilang mag trabaho sa bar sa anong kadahilanan d ko pa natatanong sakanila.

Pero like what I always say, everybody has a choice. You make a decision you live with it.Whatever is the consequence, you have to face it.

Tick Tock.. 2010..2011..

2011-01-04T07:29:00.000-08:00

2010, Ive learned...

Never set your own standards, you know you wont be able to follow it. When love comes knocking your door, its hard to say NO.

There are friends for keeps and seasonal friends. People come and go. Choose your friends well.

It's okay to be contented with what you have, but there's not wrong in aiming for something bigger/better.

Life is full of surprises. Enjoy and learn.

We have to set our goals. Short or long term goals. Better plan ahead. Better future, better life.

Always smile.

Be yourself. Pretending will lead you no where.

Love is a two way street. Compromise is the key to keep the relationship alive. To love and be loved is the greatest feeling.

Always keep some for yourself, so when the time comes and you have to let go of someone it wouldn't hurt so much.

Creating your own shield is very important. That is to protect yourself from pain and sadness.

Life is a learning process.

Work hard to earn money. Earn money to live and survive.

Work can kill you.BEWARE!

You don't have to love your boss, you just have to do your job.

Be careful of people who can't look at you straight in the eye. pretenders and big fat liars.

Don't just stare. Do something. Find a resolution.

If you have nothing nice to say, shut up.

Be careful of players and heart breakers.

Live life to the fullest. Have fun. Relax.Mingle.

Happy New Year everybody!

My wishlist for this year

2010-11-30T07:43:00.000-08:00

OK, so I have been listing my i-want-for-Christmas-gifts every year though I cannot afford to buy them. Nevertheless, Here's my wish list for 2010:

1. Laptop ( Since my old lappy was stolen)

2. SLR ( I lily lily want one!!!!)

3. Boots ( fashionista much?)

4. Running shoes (nike or adidas?)

5. Clothes ( Its been awhile since I went shopping)

6. PSP ( always on the list)

7. Trip to Bohol again! (Paradise)

8. A car ( I'm asking too much. Lol)

9. Clothes and shoes for my dog (hehe..)

10. A new job (bigger salary)

Jologs-inator

2010-10-29T09:54:00.000-07:00

I was busy checking blog sites when I ran into this page: Jologs-inator

Ok.. I am a jejemon buster but the hell.. I can't help it.. I was curious on how they translate my message.. Here's the result:

My message:

"hi my name is jam. i am 27 years old. I work as a quality analyst for web development. I am not sure why I am doing this. hahaha!"

TRANSLATE:

HI mY~ NME Iz~ JAM P0Wh.~ i m 27~ YeARZ Old p0WH. i~ w0rK Az a qualITY ANlYSt for~ Web dEvElOPMEnT~ P0Wh. I~ m nOt~ XUR wHy~ i~ m DOIng ThIS p0wH.~ jajAja l0Lz!

Oh my...

I also ran into this link: Bekimon

I sooo love the gay people.. I also did the same process and this is what i got:

My message:

"hi my name is jam. i am 27 years old. I work as a quality analyst for web development. I am not sure why I am doing this. hahaha!"

TRANSLATE:

"hi my name is jam. i am 27 years masyonda chenes. erlyn work as a quality analyst for web development chenelin. erlyn am not sure whyski i am doing this chorva. hahahatchi!chenelin"

erlyn super filet o' fish!! chorva!

100 Truths

2010-10-28T13:16:00.000-07:00

1. Status = Attached

2. Nickname(s) = Jam,Jamjam,Jammy

3. Zodiac sign = Virgo

4. Fem or Stud or undecided = Fem

5. Elementary School = SHJMS CDO

6. Middle School = ?

7. High School = Roosevelt College

8. Hair color = Naturally black

9. Long or short = Shoulder Length

10. Loud or Quiet music = Quiet

11. Sweats or Jeans = Jeans

12. Phone or Camera = Phone

13. Health freak = Nah

14. Drink or Smoke= yes and yes

15. Do you have a crush on someone = yeah

16. Eat or Drink = eat

17. Tattoos = 2

18. Pepsi or Coke= Coke

HAVE YOU EVER?

19. Been Gay? =

20. Been in a relationship?= Yes

21. Been in a car accident? = when i was 5 years old

22. Been in a fist fight? = nope

FIRSTS

23. First piercing - Ears and nose

24. First REAL best friend - Dielyn Briggs

25. First award - With honors

28. First big vacation = Cebu and Bohol

29. Last person you talked to in person - QA Anne

30. Last person you texted - Velly

31. Last person you watched a movie in theaters with?- My ex

32. Last food you ate - Chicken and rice

33. Last movie you watched - omg.. valentines day i think?

34. Last song you listened to - Stuttering

35. Last thing you bought?- food

36. Last person you hugged - Velly

X IF YES:

45. [ ] wishes on 11:11

46. [x] celebrated(s) Halloween.

47. [x] had your heart broken

48. [ ] went over minutes/texts on your cell phone

49. [x] had someone question my sexual orientation

51. [ ] broken a bone

52. [x]skipped school

53. [x]did something you regret

54. [x] broke a promise

55. [x] hid a secret

56. [x] pretend to be happy

57. [x] met someone who changed your life

58. [x] pretended to be sick

59. [ ] left the country

61. [x] cried over the silliest thing

62. [ ] ran a mile

63. [x] went to the beach/ocean

64. [x] got into an argument with your friends

65. [x] hated someone

66. [ ] stayed single a whole year

CURRENTLY:

67. Eating: no

68. Drinking: no

69. Listening to: the developers talking

71. Plans for today: sleep when i get home

72. Waiting: for my shift to end

73. Want kids: nope

74. Want to get married: maybe..

76. OPPOSiTE SEX? same sex

77. Shorter or taller? taller if possible

78. Eye color? Brown eyes

79. Dark hair or light? dark

81. Hook-up or relationship? relationship

82. Looks or personality? personality

HAVE YOU EVER----

83. Lost glasses/ contacts? no

85. Held a gun/knife for self defense? No

86. Killed somebody? no

87. Broken someone's heart? yes

88. Been arrested? hell no

DO YOU BELIEVE IN

90. Yourself - I do

91. Miracles - Yes

92. Love at first sight - uhuh

93. Is there a God? - yes

94. Santa Claus - No

95. Sex on the first date - nope!

96. Kiss on the first date - if i like her why not

97. Is there one person you want to be with right now? - yes..yes..yes..

98. Are you seriously happy with where you are in life? yeah..sakto lang..

99. Is there something you would like to say to someone? Yes

100. Post as 100 truths

This is my life..part II

2010-10-14T10:43:00.000-07:00

Moving back to Manila means I am going to stay with my Mom and my stepfather. Its a big change for me because first I am not close to my mom and second I don't like my stepfather. They rented a small room with two beds, one for me and the other for them. I didn't like the idea at first, but I had no choice.

I became friends with the kids in my neighborhood and we would spend hours playing basketball, volleyball and street games. I hated school though; I practically drag myself to school everyday. Well most of the kids there were classmates since elementary so the newbies were always picked on, that includes me. Not to mention that I came from CDO, so they all think that I was a probinsyana. Non stop teasing and bullying. FRKS (Fucking rich kids).

One funny experience I remembered was when I befriended a Sophie because she wanted to meet my seatmate (her friend had a huge crush on her). Since I had no idea what a lesbian looks like, I thought she just likes wearing baggy clothes. But when I saw her friend and another girl kissing, I was like "No way" is that possible? For an innocent probinsyana girl like me, that was something. I must say, that was my 1st lesbian encounter. Ha ha!

During my sophomore year, I was transferred to a different school. It was easy for me to fit in because everybody was nice and warm. No more bullies and bitches. Ho ray!I played basketball and volleyball for the school. Joined the cheering squad.participated in every activity.I even became a choir member!School was F-U-N. Well, except for the projects,reports, quizzes and exams. ha ha!

During my high school days mom got pregnant. At first, I was irritated because they didnt tell me that I was finally going to be an ATE. I was hurt because I knew that i wasn't going to be the center of attention anymore. I was jealous. But when Alexandra came into our life, I was overjoyed. She was so cute and so smart. A year after, mom gave birth to Gabriela. She was very pretty and adorable too. From being the only child, we became "the tres marias".

Our life was pretty much changing too. We had to cut expenses because of gabby and Alex. That means no more expensive shoes and clothing. No more trip to McDonald whenever I feel like eating spaghetti or burger. I have to admit that it was hard at first but I have to force myself to cope with the changes that's happening and be contented with what they give me.

High school life was ending, everybody became busy. School works,reviews etc. While everybody was busy studying for their UPCAT, I was still looking for a school where I can send my college application.I tried UST, failed to get the course that I want. I tried St. Joseph's College, got in and got the course that I really really liked.AB MASS COMMUNICATION. love it!

We all bid goodbye to our teachers and friends. Grad pics and diplomas were already given to us. Yearbooks signed and tears are all dried up. Next stop, college life...

To be continued...

This is my life.. part I

2010-09-20T16:19:00.000-07:00

I was born September 5, 1983 at around twelve midnight. I was named after my grandfather Benjamin and the famous Filipino saint San Lorenzo Ruiz. People called me Jambo because my eyes were so big and I was so fat.

I grew up with my aunts and my lolo. Mom was never around that time. I would stay with may aunts during weekdays and spend Saturday and Sunday in Cubao, with my lolo and cousins. As a kid, I was always bullied by my cousins.I dont know why, but they love doing it. They wont allow me to join their game,they would tease me till I cry, they wont share their toys with me. But I never complained. I didn't fight back. I would patiently wait for them to ask me if I can join them. Back then, I was also the favorite niece (i think). Unlike my cousins, I never asked anything from them but they kept giving me cool stuff and clothes. That made me think that maybe they're jealous because of the things that I am receiving from my aunts or maybe they just don't like me that much.

When I was around five years old, I was part of a car accident. My cousins, aunts and I were going somewhere when a bus hit my uncle's pick-up car. Everything was fast phased. All I remember is I was in a cab with a stranger, my cousin beside me uncouncious, my other cousin crying and my body aching. I saw may aunt in a wheelchair blood allover her face. The next thing I know is we were being transferred to a room and everybody was looking at us.

When mom went home, my life was pretty much the same. I lived like any other kid who spends time watching cartoons and playing out in the streets. When my lolo decided that I have to go with him to Cagayan de Oro because my mom was reviewing for boards, it broke my heart. I wanted to be with my mom all the time, but I had no choice. I just obeyed everything they said.

Living in CDO was quite different. Life was much simpler. I spend most of my days reading and watching TV. My lola and lolo were already old and they were not able to take care of me that much. It was when I turned 11, I started hanging out with my schoolmates. My mom would send me allowance, a couple of hundreds i think. Instead of saving my allowance, I would go to the mall to eat out or watch a movie. As far as I remember, I used to get good grades. Me being part of the honor roll. Participating in every group contest.I was a part of the school's volleyball team.
But as i grow old I find myself asking why i feel so alone most of the time. I started not doing my homework or studying. I would just spend time with my friends. I was not happy anymore.

My lolo died when I was in grade 6, that was the second time I felt my heart break. I was a lolo's girl and accepting the fact that he is gone is quite hard. I didn't cry. I blamed myself though. How I wish I was always their for my lolo. How I wish I took care of him till his last breath. Up until now, I still wish he never died.

I finally graduated from elementary. I had to go to Manila to take some entrance exams. I was going to study in Manila. I would be living with my mom and my step dad. I wasn't excited about it. But hey, all of my classmates wanted to go to Manila and they envied me. I guess I was one lucky girl..

To be continued..

untitled blah blah..

2010-09-17T10:27:00.000-07:00

They say its easy to fall in love.
They say its easy to be in a commitment.
They say its easy to feel love,
To embrace love,
To accept love and hold on to it.

And I say..

I dont believe in love at first sight.. I am not the type of person who would fall for someone right away.. I am not numb.. just tough i guess.. People say that i cant be pleased easily.. They're wrong.. I am a very appreciative person.. I am happy when people do nice things for me.. I may not smile a lot.. I may be sarcastic all the time.. FYI, I am human.. I feel happiness too.

I admit that I used to be impulsive when it comes to love. Thought It was magic, I would utter the words " I love you".. Not even thinking if I am really sure of what I feel. Then, when reality comes sinking in, I then realize that it wasn't love but rather just infatuation.

A lot of people broke my heart too. I did a lot of stupid things because of love.Getting drunk, all the cursing and crying. Drama baby! So don't call me lucky, because I also experienced pain..

Mind you, I am not bitter nor a love-hater. I just believe that everything has its own time. No rushing as what I always say. Its better to take one step at a time rather than take a plunge without even thinking if its gonna workout or not.

They say its easy to fall in love.
They say its easy to be in a commitment.
They say its easy to feel love,
But its hard to find someone to love you for what you are and what you are not...

Someday..

2010-09-13T15:50:00.000-07:00

Mapapasakin kaden.. onting chaga..onting ipon.. mahahawakan din kita..

Eh birthday ko kase..kaya gusto ko sabihin to!

2010-09-07T16:47:00.001-07:00

Aaminin ko...mejo malungkot ako noong kaarawan ko. Birthday blues sabi nang iba. Tingin ko may mas malalim na dahilan kung baket ako nakaramdam nang kalungkutan..hayy..

1. Unang una kase noong umuwi ako nang CDO, gusto ko makilala ang tatay ko. Hindi dahil hihingi ako nang pera o nang mana (pero pwede rin kung bibigyan ako. Lol). Gusto ko lang naman makaharap sya nang personal, makita kung anong itsura nya. Hindi naman ako mag tatanong. Hindi rin ako manunumbat. Gusto ko lang sya makita. Mag pakilala. Siguro sabhin na din skanya na ako anak na di nya kinilala. 27 na ako at nabuhay akong maayos. Nakakalungkot lang isipin na wala syang pakiaalam. Peste sya! sperm lang inambag nya.

2. Noong sumakay na ako nang airplane pauwi nang Manila, mangiyak ngiyak ako habang nag papaalam sa nanay ko at mga kapatid ko. Buti na lang naka shades ako at hindi nila nakikita ang kaulungkutan sa mga mata ko. Hindi naman talaga kame close nang nanay ko. Pate mga kapatid ko hindi na ako msyadong kilala.Pero sa hindi ko ma explikang dahilan, parang ayaw ko nang umuwi nang manila non. Gusto ko doon na lang ako kasama nang nanay ko. Gusto ko makitang lumaki mga kapatid ko. Gusto ko silang bantayan at gabayan. Nalulungkot talaga ako.

3. May mga tao akong nasaktan dahil sa desisyon na ginawa ko. Hindi maganda sa pakiramdam para saakin ang ganon. Kung pwede lang sana ako na lang palage ang nasasaktan tutal sanay naman ako. Napagtibay na ako nang panahon at kaya ko naman inadahin. Kahit sabihin mang maliit na kirot lang naman yung naramadaman nila, nakasakit paren ako. Ayuko nang ganon. Mga taong naging parte nang buhay ko. Mga naging tunay na kaibgan at karamay ko. Pasencia na kayo, alam ko kasalanan ko.

4. Alam ko mababaw, pero may pag kaisip bata talaga ako. Nalungkot ako kase wala akong surprise party. hahaha! Wala man lang nag bigay saken nag bulaklak. May mga nag bigay nang cake at sinamahan ako nung araw nang kaarawan ko. Pinasaya ako. Pinangiti. Ewan ko ba, siguro dahil ang ganda nang birthday ko last year.Kumpleto sa rekado. Hayaan na nga, second childhood lang tong nararamdaman ko.

Patuloy ang pag ikot nang mundo. Isang taon nanaman ang ang bibilangin ko para mag birthday ako. Sana mas marami akong matutunan ngayong taon..Sana mas umayos ang buhay ko..Sana lahat nang panalangin ko matupad..Sana mas marami akong maging kaibigan.. Alam ko naman sa bawat kalungkutang nararamdaman ko, may kapalit na kasayahan. Sa bawat problema may solusyon. Sa bawat saket o luha o hirap na mararanasan ko, alam ko kakayanin ko naman lahat yun. Pero sana talaga next year may surprise party na ako.. Lol.

Happy birthday Jam (27 NA AKO!)

2010-09-02T16:27:00.000-07:00

Wishlist ko sa birthday ko:

1. Makilala ko ang totoong tatay ko
2. Umuwi ulet nang Cagayan de Oro
3. Mabili ang mga kapatid ko nang computer
4. Ibigay ang appraisal ko
5. Mag rafting ulet (Level 2)
6. Magkaron nang sapat na ipon
7. Isurprise party nila ako (Lol)
8. Magkaron nang sariling PSP
9. Makita ang mga kapatid ko sa side nang tatay ko ( Wala lang,, gusto ko lang makita kung sino ang mas magandang bungga.. hahahah)
10.Good health at kaligayahan sa pamilya ko..
11. (bonus) Maayos na lovelife..
12. Maging MASAYA palage...
13. Magkron nang madaming TOTOONG kaibigan..

Isang taon nanaman ang lumipas.. patanda ako nang patanda.. baket pakiramdam ko ngayun me kulang saken? Di ko alam... weird.. birthday blues ba to?

Playing with the devil....

2010-06-10T09:19:00.000-07:00

Lately, I have been making the wrong choices. Making the same mistakes over and over again. Though I tried to telling myself that you cant associate playing with emotions... my entire being is just too stubborn to let loose and go with the flow.

Sometimes I find myself realizing that I am a better person when I am in a relationship. When I am with someone, I dont get hurt, I dont make stupid things and I dont cry. When I am with someone, I feel secured, loved and I make right decisions.

The last person whom I had fun with taught me allot of things. I was her student, she was my teacher. I remember her telling me not be too serious about life. She also told me not to think about the future. Lil by Lil I was changing. Everyday, I was starting to enjoy what I am doing. Man, I was playing with the devil and I was liking it. Fun.Fun.Fun.

The weirdest part? She didnt even do anything but she was able to make me play with fire. The devil got me, I know right? I got burned and it hurts but I didnt care. We were dancing and laughing like two kids playing in the rain, not caring about the people looking at us.

Suddenly, I started running away. A friend made me realize that I need to stop it else I would be in a big trouble. I kept running and running looking for a safe place to hide. Finally, I stopped and looked back. I can no longer see her. She's no longer around. Breath in. Breath out. I examined myself, checking if I broke anything. None so far. But I still have blisters.. Ouch.

Good girl gone bad

2010-05-28T12:44:00.000-07:00

I never tried flirting around. One night stands are not my kind of thing. I was never a player.I always take the game seriously. I was the type of girl who wanted the perfect relationship. I always dreamt of settling down with the person that I love the most. I even wanted to get married. Funny eh? But that's me.

Lately, I have come to discover a different side of me. I didnt know that I had a bitchy side. haha! Flirting may not be my forte but atleast Im getting the hang of it. I was uncomfortable at first, honest! But with a few tips, I was able to handle it. and I think Im starting to like it, Which scares me by the way because I dont want to be tagged as one of the bitches who jumps from one girl to another girl. Oh no, not my reputation..I dont wanna be the talk of the town. Earth to Jam! Snapping fingers.. back to reality.. wake me up?

Someone told me that I should be more liberated. Well FYI, I didnt grow up that way. As crazy as it may sound, but I am a conservative person. I dont kiss or cuddle unless I love-like the person. I dont exchange sweet nothings with a friend unless she is very close to me. Bottom line is, I just dont play around. Yes, I did it once...twice.. But you know what,I learned a valuable lesson.. Whats that? You flirt around, kiss every girl that you like.. But at the end of the day.. You're still alone.. You have nobody.. No Love..No fun..

You again..

2010-05-18T09:47:00.000-07:00

i am jealous..i know i don't have any right to be..but seeing you with other girls..Just the thought of someone pursuing you..makes my heart bleed..

i am furious..because you don't see me..do i have to make unnecessary actions..childish acts..for you to notice me?Oh yeah,my bad..i forgot i am just a friend..so why bother right?

i can never tell you how much you mean to me.. hell no!would i gain anything if i do?you've already rejected me once remember?Just so you know, you wounded my heart..that hit me big time..

Call me chicken..But i will never admit my feelings for you..whats the point?I'm just a friend to you anyways..friends...good friends..yeah right..

Counting...

2010-05-13T17:01:00.000-07:00

I have to say its almost two moths now.....

I am single.unattached.alone. Damn! I am so proud of myself. I never thought I would be able to handle it.I surpassed endless nights of longing and wishing to be with someone. I thought I would die living alone. But Hey, I am still alive and I'm still walking.

Now,I wake up with a smile on my face. I have learned to do things on my own. I have learned to love myself more. I am now enjoying my life. Going out with friends and meeting new faces. No need for guilt-free passes, im single.

Though the feeling haunts me from time to time, I have learned to divert my attention to other things.I owe it all to my friends. Their advices and constant reminders made me stronger. They're my multivitamins. Lol.

The wounds are almost healed. I am now a better person. In time I will find somone who'll love me unconditionally. But for now, I am gonna party like a rockstar! =)

xoxo

You..

2010-05-05T08:07:00.000-07:00

I like you.
dont ask why.
I felt something when I met you.
It may not be sparks nor magic.
Its a tingling sensation I cannot define.

I want to be near you.
Sit next to you.
I want to see your smile.
Hear your laughter.
Just simply look at you.

I want to love you.
But your giving me reasons not to.
Maybe because the feeling aint mutual.
You just see me as one of you buddies.
A sister.
Your friend.

I miss you.
Things are changing now.
You're so near, yet so far.
I just want you to know that Im still here.
Id rather have you as my friend than not having you at all.

C U when I C U..

2010-05-03T17:24:00.000-07:00

I am sitting.

I am waiting.

I am becoming impatient.

I am getting bored.

I am having a hard time figuring out what is taking you so long.

I am not desperate.

Just a little lonely.

I envy those who found love.

I am jealous.

All I can do is stare.

Though I am getting the hang of it.

Trying to cope with what is left inside me.

Enjoying every moment.

But at the back of my head.

I will always be wishing.

Thinking of you.

Dreaming that Ill soon see your face.

Feel the warmth of your embrace.

I'll see you when I see you...

-xoxo-

My song..

2010-04-27T10:06:00.000-07:00

ALL THE LOVE IN THE WORLD (The Corrs)

I'm not looking for someone to talk to I've got my friend, I'm more than O.K. I've got more than a girl could wish for I live my dreams but it's not all they say Still I believe (I'm missing) I'm missing something real I need someone who really sees me...

(Don't wanna wake...) Don't wanna wake up alone anymore Still believing you'll walk through my door All I need is to know it's for sure Then I'll give... all the love in the world

I've often wondered if love's an illusion Just to get you through the loneliest days I can't criticize it I have no hestitaion My imagination just stole me away (Still...) Still I believe (I'm missing) I'm missing something real I need someone who really sees me...

(Don't wanna wake...) Don't wanna wake up alone anymore Still believing you'll walk through my door All I need is to know it's for sure Then I'll give... all the love in the world

Love's for a lifetime not for a moment So how could I throw it away Yeah I'm only human And nights grow colder With no-one to love me that way Yeah I need someone who really sees me...

(Don't wanna wake...) And i won't wake up alone anymore Still believing you'll walk through my door You'll reach for me and I'll know it's for sure Then I'll give all the love in the world (Don't wanna wake up alone anymore...)

Single..

2010-04-26T17:56:00.000-07:00

I am not used to being single. I've been a relationship for god knows how long. I had may fair share of tears and happiness. Time and experience made me become a better person. Pain made me stronger.

I was lying on my bed when something hit me. HARD. I know ill get used to the fact that I will be spending most of my days alone. But Fuck loneliness, its killing me. Though I have my friends by my side. Always there to support and take care of me...for the meantime.lol. But everytime I see lovers, my jealous bone.. Oh my.. hahaha! Here comes bitterness.. and there goes my imagination.

I do not regret the decision that I made a couple of months ago. I know I made someone's heart bleed. I made them cry, but I know its for our own good. I dont want to pretend or even force myself to be in a situation that would only lead to more hurting and more crying. The decision I made was the hardest one, true. Atleast I was brave enough to face the truth that Its over and I was able to spill the beans... otherwise it would just lead to more complications.

My eyes are now puffed.. I gotta splittin headache.. Im counting the days. Waking up every morning, checking my mobile phone. Wishing someone would text me sweet nothings. I miss being called "baby".."honey".. "Love"... I miss kissing someone.. I miss holding hands with someone.. I love yous... I miss yous...Making love.. Sigh! I just miss being with someone! Waaaahh.. Here comes loneliness again.. I swear I am about to commit suicide now.. I need more booze.. pass me the tequila.. I need 10 shots..

If god is punishing me.. He is doing a good job..This is torture.. I think.. Hahahaha...I know.. I know.. I should wait.. But I am not a very patient person you know.. I just hope I can still handle this feeling..I am praying that I can manage living alone without asking any help from anybody.. I am scared though..Wish me luck!

-xoxo-

Bang..Bang..Ouch!

2010-04-26T09:21:00.000-07:00

"Love makes no promises......."

Ive been guarding my heart for the longest time.Nobody can easily get inside it,I hid the key in place no one would ever find,I have to protect it,I will never give in.

Out of the blue,someone came along.One smile and I was blown away.I was like cast in a spell.then I see myself whispering in her ear,telling her where I hid the key,and before i knew it,she was already inside.

She manipulated my entire system,Our bodies move,swaying to the beat.I swear I was totally lost,I was mesmerized by her,I wanted to get out but it was too late.

Then one day,she left without even closing the door.I see broken glasses everywhere,seems like my heart stopped beating.I looked around searching for a sign,I saw her waving with an evil grin in her face,My heart was crushed,pulverized.

I know I can be vunerable at times,But she really caught me off guard,I wasnt expecting this would happen,I wasnt ready to get hurt right away.She took my heart and cut into many pieces.

Lesson learned?Never ever trust someone right away,She may look like your knight and shinning aromor,but behind that beautiful face is a devil who would play with your heart,and then leave without even closing the door and handing you the key.

Guarded..

2010-04-01T16:46:00.000-07:00

Knock knock..

who's there..

LOVE..

who?

LOVE..

Im busy..

Common lemme in..

Not interested...

I said lemme in..

Why should I?

I promise to give joy to your life..

Who's Joy?

Argh.. Just lemme in..

I'll think about it...

Dont think about it...

Why not?

Because there's nothing to think about..

And what do you have to offer?

Everything your heart desires..

Really now and you think I'd believe you?

Of course..

How many hearts did you break?

Well, there was one time..and there was also..

How many times did you say goodbye?

Uh..

How many times did you say "oops.. Im sorry, its not you its me? "

But..

No buts.. I want answers..

I know but you're not letting me answer your questions..

It's just simple questions and you can't answer it right away.. DUH!

You just dont listen eh?

WHY?

I just dont want to,,

My! you are one guarded heart..

Cant blame myself, I've been hurt a couple of times.

What do you want me to do then?

Convince me with actions not with words..

Can't you just lemme in first before I do that?

Hell no! I aint stupid..

You're asking for too much..

Too much.. haha!

Why are you laughing?

Well if you cant do it.. goodbye..

wait..wait..

Hello?

The Hardest Thing - 98 degrees

2010-03-09T09:15:00.000-08:00

We both know that I shouldn't be here

This is wrong And baby it's killing me,

it's killing you

Both of us trying to be strong

I've got somewhere else to be

Promises to keep Someone else who loves me

And trusts me fast asleep

I've made up my mind

There is no turning back

She's been good to me

And she deserves better than that

It's the hardest thing I'll ever have to do

To look you in the eye And tell you I don't love you

It's the hardest thing I'll ever have to lie To show no emotion when you start to cry

I can't let you see what you mean to me

When my hands are tied and my heart's not free

We're not meant to be It's the hardest thing I'll ever had to do

To turn around and walk away

Pretending I don't love you

I know that we'll meet again

Fate has a place and time So you can get on with your life

I've got to be cruel to be kind Like Dr. Zhivago

All my love

I'll be sending

And you will never know cuz

There can be no happy ending

It's the hardest thing I'll ever have to do

To look you in the eye

And tell you I don't love you

It's the hardest thing

I'll ever have to lie

To show no emotion when you start to cry

Maybe another time, another day As much as I want to,

I can't stay (Ooh)

I've made up my mind

There is no turning back

She's been good to me

And she deserves better than that

It's the hardest thing

I'll ever have to do

To look you in the eye

And tell you I don't love you

It's the hardest thing

I'll ever have to lie

To show no emotion when you start to cry

I don't want to live a lie What can I do....

Jam's short story

2010-03-08T21:25:00.000-08:00

I am Jam.. I'm not the typical girl you see everyday.. I am not a looker.. I don't wear girly clothes and make sure that may make-up matches my outfit..I can be bitchy..annoying and even wild..I can be naive at times.. even dumb.. I am loud and cranky most of the time.. The bottom line is, I am Jam..I may change at some point.. But I am one of kind..

Ok. Enough of the introduction..Let me tell you my story then..

I became a selfless person over the couple of months.. I was self centered and a brat..but I have to admit it, I enjoyed every minute of it. Well, It feels good to be treated like a princess once in awhile. It's really nice to be pampered and feel like you're the most special girl in the world.. She..yes she.. she gave me everything..It was more than a dream..It was more than a fairytale.. It was magical.. truly magical..

If others can give their love ones the star or the moon.. She was willing to give me the galaxy..She accepted my flaws..She helped me heal my wounded heart.. She accepted me whole-heartedly..She loved me unconditionally..

The love that she is offering me... happiness, security and assurance...the works!It was all wonderful.. she's like a package sent by the angels and only I can open..with all the shinny wrapper and cute little ribbons.. feels like I'm in heaven.. It was too good to be true.. I don't even want to wake up if it was all just a dream..

However, I cannot accept it.. I can't accept any of it..

Why?

I just can't do it.. I just can't.. First, I still love someone else..Second, I believe that I don't deserve someone like her..Third, I the feeling is not mutual..I mean, yeah I have feelings for her, but its not as deep as what she is feeling.. what she's showing.. And I think it's unfair.. Its not right to accept everything knowing that I cant give anything in return..

Now..

I broke her heart.. again...This is not the first time obviously.. I kept repeating the same mistake.. I broke her heart,crushed it into many pieces.. and now, I left her with no band-aids to at least make her feel better..World, please tell me what's wrong with me...

But I am only human.. If people think that i don't care about it.. If people think that I enjoy every part of it.. Hell no! I am not proud of what I've done.. I am not happy because I'm the reason why tears are falling down her cheeks.. It was all my fault and I admit it..

If only I can take the pain away..I would've done it a long time ago.. If only I can give her what she really wanted.. I'd give her more..more that she can imagine.. If only sorry's turn into i love you's.. well, you know whats next..

Though I am thankful that she came into my life..I am grateful I met someone like her.. She made realize a lot of things in life..She made me understand what true love really is..and I thank you for that!

The end.

Sooooo.. That's what happened to me for the past couple of months.. Believe me, its one of the hardest decisions that I had to go through.. But I guess with this experience,I must say...I became a better person.. A better Jam..

P.S Hey,in case you might forget what i told you before.. you are a part of my system..You will always be..

Isang araw sa BOHOL!

2010-01-26T06:56:00.000-08:00

Ang saya....

Gone..

2010-01-22T11:27:00.001-08:00

I think I’ve already lost you

I think you’re already gone

I think I’m finally scared now

You think I’m weak - but I think you’re wrong

I think you’re already leaving

Feels like your hand is on the door

I thought this place was an empire

But now I’m relaxed - I can’t be sure

I think you’re so mean - I think we should try

I think I could need - this in my life

I think I’m just scared - I think too much

I know this is wrong it’s a problem I’m dealing

If you’re gone - maybe it’s time to go home

There’s an awful lot of breathing room

But I can hardly move

If you’re gone - baby you need to come home

Cuz there’s a little bit of something me

In everything in you

I bet you’re hard to get over

I bet the room just won’t shine

I bet my hands I can stay hereI bet you need - more than you mind

I think you’re so mean - I think we should try

I think I could need - this in my life

I think I’m just scared - that I know too much

I can’t relate and that’s a problem I’m feeling

If you’re gone - maybe it’s time to go home

There’s an awful lot of breathing room

But I can hardly move

If you’re gone - baby you need to come home

Cuz there’s a little bit of something me

In everything in you

I think you’re so mean - I think we should try

I think I could need - this in my life

I think I’m just scared - do I talk too much

I know this is wrong it’s a problem

I’m dealingIf you’re gone - maybe it’s time to go home

There’s an awful lot of breathing room

But I can hardly moveIf you’re gone - baby you need to come home

Cuz there’s a little bit of something me

In everything in you

.....

2010-01-22T07:27:00.000-08:00

I cannot feel anything. I am numb all over. It's like there's a blockage in my heart that causes my nerves to be paralyze. I cannot feel pain. I cannot express happiness. Nothing at all.

My mind is telling me to let go, to let it be. But my heart is trying to overwrite what has been set. All I am seeing is black and blue and my eyes are all dried up. While everybody is asking, I am pretending that I am perfectly fine. I make them believe that I can handle everything. Can I? Such a hypocrite.

I plaster a smile in face just to let everybody know I am okay. But every time I remember the things that I've done. The heart that I broke. The trembling voice and tears in her eyes. It makes me wanna die. Too much pain.

My body is starting to numb now. Breath. Breath. I cannot feel anything again. I want this to stop. But how? I cant figure out a solution.

This is all my fault. I deserve it.

AKO..

2010-01-21T13:03:00.000-08:00

Ako..

Hindi ko maintindihan ang sarili ko..

Ako..

Hindi ko alam kung baket ako ganito..

Ako..

Hindi ko sinasadyang makasaket nang tao..

Ako..

Kala nila matapang ako, pero ang totoo duwag ako..

Ako..

Hindi makuntento...

Ako..

Magulo akong magisip, kasing gulo nang buhok ko pag bagong gising..

Ako..

Masungit ako.. pero pusong mamon..

Ako..

Liberal na tao.. pero may hiya ren naman..

Ako..Ako...Ako..

Kelan ba ang matuto???

Kelan ko kaya maiintindihan kung ano ba talaga ang ibig sabihin nang buhay? nang pag-ibig?

Kelan ko kaya mahahanap ang tamang daan?

Kelan papasok sa kokote ko na hindi na ako bata, na kelangan ko nang tumino?

Sana lahat nang bagay simple na lang..

Sana madaling i-explika lahat nang bagay..

Sana lagi na lang masaya..

Ako kase e..

Pinapakumplika ko ang buhay ko..

Ako..

Ako ang may kasalanan nang lahat nang ito..

An open letter

2010-01-20T07:35:00.000-08:00

Dear YOU,

We've been special friends for sometime now. We've shared alot of moments together and I have to admit, I was happy.I had fun. But the endless battle in my head made me decide to choose her over you. Not because we've been together for a very long time and that we share more moments together. I dunno, I guess I just love her thats why. Not that I am saying that I did not love you, I did. I loved you. But I love her more.

I did give you a chance. The chance that you asked from me before. If you think I dont see or feel the effort that you gave me. You are wrong, I felt it. I appriciate it. I am thankful for it. I am greatful that God gave me someone like you. You've been so patient with me. You understood my mood swings. You made me laugh. You cared for me.You protected me.You loved me unconditionally. And for that, Thank you.

It was never my intention to hurt you. It never occured to me that the thing that we did, our set up would cause you so much pain. We've talked about it a couple of times before we even decided to start the whole thing, right? All along I thought you understood everything.

I believe I did my part as well. Where you able to feel it? If not, I am sorry. I did my best to make the "thing' that we have work. The only problem is, you took the risk. I did not. You loved me too much. I only gave you a part of my heart. You gave the world to me and promised to love me forever. That's when I stopped and realize that the feeling can never be mutual because someone already rocked my world. And it was not you.

I am also in pain right now.Believe it or not, It was never easy for me to do this. But I have too. I dont wanna be selfish anymore. I dont wanna be unfair.I dont deserve someone like you.

By the way, I heard you starting to come out from your shell. At first, I was a bit jealous because I was the apple of your eye, but now you have a new darling. I told myself, I no longer own you and you deserve to be happy. I am happy for you though, honest. And I wish you luck.

I know I asked for forgiveness a couple of times, but I will never stop saying I am sorry until that wound of yours heal. For the nth time, I AM SORRY.

This will not be goodbye.. only see you soon. I hope someday when we meet again, you'll be able to give me the same smile. That shy smile you gave me when I first met you. Thank you for coming into my life. You are such a wonderful person. Always remember, I will always be your friend. I will always be around if you need me.

XOXO,

P.S You will always be my sweetest mistake.

(Sorry for the typo and wrong grammar...)

GOOGLE YOUR NAME...

2010-01-15T13:55:00.000-08:00

1) Type in "[your name] needs" in Google search: Jam needs you!! -- nobody nobody but you! ^_^

2) Type in "[your name] looks like" in Google search:Jam looks like a great beginning -- new life.. good life.. ^_^

3) Type in "[your name] likes" in Google search:Jam likes to play the penny whistle -- what the F*** is a penny whistle?

4) Type in "[your name] says" in Google search:Jam, Says 'There's Definitely Hard Feelings' -- uhh.. i know meron.. sorry naman! aww..

5) Type in "[your name] wants" in Google search:JAM wants neighborhood support for liquor. -- Lassenga???

6) Type in "[your name] does" in Google search:Jam does not share personal information about you with any third party -- i wont tell.. xoxo.. ^_^

7) Type in "[your name] hates" Google search:-Jam, hates going to work -- AMEN!!

8) Type in "[your name] goes" Google search: Jam goes glam -- G-L-A-M-O-R-O-U-S..^_^

9) Type in "[your name] loves" in Google search:Jam loves melon -- uh..not really... i like manggoes more..

10) Type in"[your name] is" in Google search:jam is soft, spreadable and delicious. -- iba naiisip ko dito.. no comment! hahahahaha!!

wHaT's In My HeAd...

2010-01-14T16:08:00.000-08:00

Struggling.. still breathing.. exposed....aching..mending..crying..LAUGHING..

Leaving..looking back..walking away.. stopping... pretending..hypocrite..letting go..goodbye..HURTING..

Moving on...explaining..understanding..lying..kissing...hugging..cuddling and caring.. ALONE..

Thinking..deciding..mind twisted..blaming myself..selfish..unfair..TIRED..

I am complicated..

KILL ME..

At dahil jan...

2010-01-14T10:33:00.000-08:00

may nagtext ang sabi: weteber...

in english.. whatever.. in tagalog.. wakopaks!punyemas...har!

INKS...

2010-01-13T12:35:00.001-08:00

N.Y.R

2009-12-31T15:39:00.000-08:00

My New year's resolution.....

1.Lose Weight

2.Be more organized (work and at home)

3.Stop acting like a spoiled brat

4.Save!Save!Save

5.Go out more.. (social life)

6.Indyanera no more (Lol..)

7.Buy more clothes and shoes (uhhh,, please see resolution number 4)

8.Look for a new job

9. Make my lovelife less complicated..

10. Get a new Tattoo..

11. Follow 1 to 10..

Wish me luck.. sana matupad lahat to! ^_^

Happy New Year

2009-12-30T10:55:00.000-08:00

Alot of things happened to ME this year...

Got promoted..

Got transferred to another account.. (Haggardness ever)

Met new faces..

Broke up with my partner..

Broke someone's heart...

Had my hair cut..

Moved in with my officemate..

Changed my status to single..no..err.. complicated..

Opened an account (BPI)..

Got not just 1.. but 2 tattoos..

Became a metal mouth..

Gained weight.. (from 100lbs to whooping 125 lbs..)

2 more days.. goodbye 2009.. hello 2010..

Now, I dont know what's in store for me next year.. I hope every plan that I make will turn out the way I wanted it to be..

Happy New Year BLOGGERS!

Ive been bad..

2009-10-26T06:31:00.000-07:00

I always thought I was a goody-goody when it comes to relationships. I never imagined myself crushing someone's heart. Hurting someone is the last thing that I wanted to do.

But I did, not only once but twice. I feel bad of course! All the drama and the pain is driving me nuts! People might think that I enjoyed every moment of it. Hell no! Seeing someone cry because I broke their heart sucks! I know sorry wouldn't make things easier and what ever I do to soften the blow, pain is still pain. But I really am sorry.

Love can make you do crazy things. I know. Been there, done that. And if I were given a chance to straighten the mess that I've done,I would. But its too late for everything. The only thing that I need to do now is move forward and make sure not to make the same mistakes again.

I guess Santa wont be giving me any present this Christmas cause Ive been a bad girl...

Chasing Pavements

2009-08-19T06:30:00.000-07:00

I've made up my mind,Don't need to think it over,if I'm wrong I am right,Don't need to look no further,This ain't lust,i know this is love but,

If i tell the world,I'll never say enough,Cause it was not said to you,And thats exactly what i need to do,If i'm in love with you,

Should i give up,Or should i just keep chasing pavements?Even if it leads nowhere,Or would it be a waste?Even If i knew my place should i leave it there?Should i give up,Or should i just keep chasing pavements?Even if it leads nowhere

I'd build myself up, And fly around in circles,Wait then as my heart drops,and my back begins to tinglefinally could this be it

Missing blogspot..

2009-08-10T14:54:00.000-07:00

Its been awhile since I visited my blog. As you all know, Ive been very busy. The fact that I have to work atleast 12 hours a day. Working as one of the support people is a though job...Puros work, minsan lang ang play..hehe.. Pero Im still the same Jham.. crazy as ever.. I missed blogging..dito ko lang nasasabi lahat nang nararamdaman ko.

Kayo naman mga friends ko dito, kamusta na kaya kayo?

Nasaan na ba?

2009-08-10T14:25:00.000-07:00

Minsan mapag laro talaga ang tandhana.. pinapaikot tayo nang panahon.. inuuto nang bawat pag kakataon.. Noong una akala mo ok na ang lahat.. walang bahid nang kamalian.. punong puno nang saya at ligaya.. Ni minsay d sumagi sa isip mong matatapos den pala ang lahat.. ngungit biglang magigising ka isang umaga na wala ka nang maramadaman.. Mga matatamis na ngiting binalot nang kalungkutan.. Mga katanungan hindi masagot.. Sakit na di malaman laman kung san nag simula..

Pilitin man ayusin ang gusot na hindi mo namalayang unti unti nang sumisira sa pundasyong nyong binuo nang pag mamahal at pag uunawa ay di na maayos ayos. Gustuhin mo mang magsimula ulet,Kalimutan ang lahat at isipin ang kinabukasan. Ngunit ang hirap nitong gawin.. Unti unti nang nababalot ang katauhan mo nang dilim at pag nanais na kumawala.. Lumisan.. Ang pagibig na dateng nag babigay sayo nang buhay ay biglang nag laho.. nag lahong parang bula..

Masakit tanggapin ang katotohanang wala nang naiwan, wala nang naitabi kahit karampot na pag mamahal na maaring bumuo ulit nang isang pagsasamamang lalong pagtitibay nang panahon. Wala nang ngiti, wala nang malalagkit na tinginan at walang nang mga halik na nakakabaliw.. Wala na..

Ano nga ba ang nangyare? Kahit ako hindi ko maipaliwanag.. Masakit, oo.. Nakakalungkot, oo.. Anu na lang ang natira? Mga alaala nang kahapong kay ganda.. Mga masasayang larawan marahil ngayon ay kupas na.. Ang pag ibig na noon kung anong sarap at tamis ay napalitan nang sakit at hinagpis..

Wala na... nawala na..

Art Attack

2009-08-06T09:50:00.000-07:00

Supah Abby

Toothpaste endorser

Rockstar Boss

Cheerleader

Kambal?

Groovy Ops manager

Sexy Devil

ATTENTION:BLOGGA-FWENDS

2009-06-25T11:20:00.000-07:00

Mga blogga-fwends... kelan ba EB naten ulet? jusko, first and last EB naten.. uh....(thinking..)

Tara set na naten mga kafated! at kung sino pang gustong sumama... message naman kayo guys...common...MISS KO NA KAYO!

seryoso...

EMUSIC TEAM BUILDING (Batangas)

2009-04-29T19:07:00.001-07:00

Sexy back (Lol)

Love this pic.. ( Kalsada sa market market)

OM Mike at ang kanyang mga babae..at lalake?

Camwhores... tsk..tsk..

EMUSIC TEAM BUILDING

Alam ko no!!

2009-04-29T16:49:00.000-07:00

Kamusta na ba ako?

1. Busy sa new account.. sup calls.. reports.. calls..audits..updates..haggardness..

2. Our new account is composed of mostly gays and les... Welcome Homo campaign??...Lol

3. No social life.. No time para makipag kita sa mga kumares ko.. boohoo..

4. I think i lost 10 pounds already..

5. My eyebags? Well.. Lets just say.. 3-5 hours of sleep everyday..

6. 35 - 40 hours OT..

7. No more drinking sessions...

8. My favorite hobby.. sleeping...

9. My new bestfriends?? YCORD,AUDIT SHEET and HEADSET..

10. Irate callers... Meet Carol Johnson (my alias)

NEW ACCOUNT...

2009-03-18T12:45:00.000-07:00

work is killing me.. really!

but..

being with my new friends..

priceless.. =)

ONE MORE CHANCE...

2009-02-09T11:32:00.000-08:00

Finally... after gazzillion of years.. napanood ko na sya....

Doc, Tentay,Mhel,Mareng Mikee at She.. makakarelate na ako sainyo!!!

Hmm.. Hindi naman ako mashadong naapektuhan.. Siguro dahil sa hindi ko pa nararanasan ang ganung situation...

Pero ang fave part ko dun AYYYYY... Yung kumakain sila nang chicken.. pinagbabawalan ni Popoy kumakain nang balat nang manok si Basha..at my gawd..nag aagawan pa sila.. hahaha...

Tapos hihirit tong si Basha ng..

" I NEED SPACE"

Panalo... Lol... (clap..clap)

Dito...

2009-01-30T08:35:00.000-08:00

Ilang araw na akong nag aabang,
Nag iintay na makita ang iyong magandang mukha,
Pabalik balik ako sa dati nating tagpuan,
Ngunit ni anino mo’y di ko nasilayan.

Minsa’y ayoko nang umasa,
Na ikaw ay mag babalik pa,
Minsan naisip kung sumuko,
Lumayo at din na rin magpakita.

Sinubukan kung maglakad papalayo,
Iwanan ang alaala nang kahapong kay ganda,
Ngunit hindi ko parin mapigilang hindi lumingon,
Laging nag babakasakali na ikay nagbalik na.

Matagal ka pa ba?
Magiintay parin ba ako?
Nakalimutan mo na ba ang iyong mga pangako?
Kase nandito parin ako,
Nag aantay sa pagbalik mo,
Dito sa dating tagpuan kung saan kita unang nag kita.
Dito sa dating tagpuan kung saan mo ako iniwan.

FHM MODEL???

2009-01-29T09:46:00.000-08:00

Im speechless....

QA...QA.. QA..

2009-01-14T12:48:00.000-08:00

Kung akala nyo patay na ako.. nag kakamali kayo.. buhay na buhay pa ako... naging busy lang ako lately dahil sa work.. Level up na po kase ang inyong lingkod..Mula sa simpleng mamamayan nang industryang pinapasukan ko.. ako ay binigyan nang pag kakataong maging isang QA Intern.. So simula December hangang sa kasalukuyan, ako ay walang sawang nakikinig, nag gragrade, nag sesend nang report, nag gegenerate nang templates (madugo!) at nag cocoach nang mga ahenteng tumatanggap nang tawag mula sa kabilang mundo..

Masaya? OO.. Challenging? Very.. Stressful? Naman.. Pero sabi nga nang mentor ko.. ( itago naten sya sa pangalang Maria Cecilia) kung hindi ko susubukan ang isang bagay, pano ko malalaman kung kaya ko ba o hindi..Halos mangiyak ngiyak nga ako nung una dahil sa work load ko.. Simula nang umupo ako sa entablado.. Ang Excel, Micrsoft Outlook at IM ang bago kung tropa.. Sama mo na si Pareng headset at katropang pen and paper! nakakawindang!!

Pero alam nyo buhay sa nang tao, hindi pwedeng puros petics ka na lang at lagi kang nasa comfort zone mo.. Hindi pwedeng makuntento ka na kung anung meron ka ngayon..at lalo hindi pwedeng mag paka stagnant ka sa isang situation na alam mo namang may mararating ka kung ipupush mo lang ang sarili mo para gawin yun..yan.. yan ang natutunan ko.. Onting piga nang utak..punas nang ilong dahil nakakanosebleed ang trabaho.. onting punas nang luha sa mga mata dahil halos 8 hours na nakatutok sa PC at kabig nang jacket dahil sobrang lamig sa office..Tadaaa!! QA na QA na ang dateng ko.. hahaha.. Feelingera! ugh!

Almost three years na ako sa call center.. Almost 3 years na akong ahente..Three years na ako nag chachaga at umaariba para gumanda ang stats ko para makakuha nang incentives.. Three years..geeesshh!!!

Ngayon napatunayan ko sa sarili ko.. Mas masarap paden maging ahente..hahaha!!!pero nahahahasa naman ang utak ko pagdating sa pagiging QA.. ( imaginin mo.. lahat nang brain cells ko gumgalaw)...Hayy.. oh well.. basta ang importante.. Kahit anu man katayuan naten sa buhay.. anu mang posisyon ang marating naten.. wag lang tayo mag popower tripping.. diba??bad yun... :P

Mabuhay kayong lahat!

NAMES...

2008-12-29T10:52:00.000-08:00

Cara

Fine as hell, got curves in all the right places and from a 1 to 10 is a certified 20.

The most sweetest, most beautiful to ever exist.

Kyle

A generous, outgoing guy who goes out of his way for his friends. Can be sweet and caring towards people, he has a laid back and calm approach. Truthful, gullable, lovely and Sexy. Can be a bit of a stress head at times, can also hold grudges for a long period of time. Nice to get to know, easy to fall in love with.

First name (male) with Celtic origins meaning: 1. Handsome 2. Narrow channel 3. Near the chapel
Has been among the 100 most popular names for the last 30 years.

Eiffel

Object-oriented programming language thaught in the "Introduction to Programming"-Course at the Federal Institute of Technology in Zurich, Switzerland.

Eiffel is a really simple and clean way to learn the concept of object-oriented software construction. It's for true software engineers and not meant for hobby geeks programming their 0815-Undress-a-Bunny things.

Mel

my favouritist person in the whole wide world. universe. as big as we can go........

mel only has ab's because she laugh allllooott. Plus shes a pshyco and is very random as well..

a cool tomboy girl, usually short for Melissa or Melony. she likes to hang with the boys and often doesn't have many girl-friends. hot.
girl-nextdoor type that anyone would like to spend their life with.

Macy

The girl that i'm falling so deeply in love with. The girl that puts a smile on my face whether I'm with her or jsut thinking about her. No other person could possibly hold the beauty she holds inside and outside.

Dani / Elora

A person with lots of layers of goodness, like an onion without the crying and the smell.

Every Dani that I've met is the same - petite, dark hair, dark eyes, witty, intelligent, somewhat pretty... It's saying something about the name!

Short black haired pedo lesbians. Who are really neat and like to lay on hills with Beths. And enjoy cellphone vibrations. Real hot?

Listens to goood music.

"That chick is such an Elora"

Jam

To relax, or chill out.
A party, hopefully with lots of free beer.

Acronym for Jocular Alpha Male, named so for their primary function of attempting to jam every female in sight. Common traits include low intelligence, superiority complex brought on by deep ceded insecurity/homoerotic denial, muscle mass consistent with steroid abuse and a predilection for jager bombs and HGH.

Albertine

the perfect girl in the whole world comparable to an angel

Christine

A deity; the best person to be in your corner; unlimited power and potential; a muse; someone that can change your life. Someone that takes your side even when you're wrong; soulmate; kismet; fortuitous; serendipity

Joey

The hottest sexiest thing alive. I wanna lick his face off.

American slang for likes to mess with total assholes usually a spazz

Krista

A sexy bitch with nice tits and a hot booty.

Supah Sexy Cool.

source:urbandictionary.com

Isang pagbati..

2008-12-23T12:16:00.000-08:00

peeps...

EB @ eat my english

2008-12-18T09:00:00.000-08:00

nag..

enjoy..

ka..

ba??

Jhamywhoops: anu brittney successful ang eb noh?

Cryingheart: ikasa mo jham jham! tagaaay pa!!tinaob ko nga kayo sa inuman no!

Lovemask: Saya nang EB noh?teka.. bat ka nangigigel?

Zeth: Si jham kase eh.. elizabeth nang elizabeth!grr!

Bitchcraft: Pkiss mikko!!!

Cryingheart: Pano ba gamitin 2?

Mikko: ewan ko.. wag kang magulo may katext ako!

Bitchcraft: ayan oh!pindutin mo yung "DELETE ALL"

Walang galawan ohh! ooh!!OHA!!

Ana Gabriel: Alam mo kase mikko.. ganito yun..

Defiant: (Sigh.. d ako makarelate sa pinag uusapan nila)

Jhamywhoops: Anak, sayaw tayo!

Defiant: Ayoko inay!shy ako!ayoko!!!!!!!!!!!

Soccer freak: Nahihiya ako!

Zeth: Rak n Roll.....

Jhamyhwhoops: Hindi ako laseng (hik!)

Hindi sila nag eenjoy ha!! walang ebidensya!!!

salamat kay JAYPEE...

May award ang Lola mo!

2008-11-19T04:45:00.000-08:00

Nagpapasalamat ako kay pishnge dahil binigyan nya ako nang award.. Fwend.. Touch ako. Touch kita! Lol.. Maraming salamat..

Here are the rules:

1. Each blogger must post these rules.

2. Each blogger starts with ten random facts/habits about themselves.

3. Bloggers that are tagged, need to write ten facts about themselves. You need to choose ten people to tag and list their names.

4. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they've been tagged and also to read your blog.

10 random facts about jhamywhoops..

1. Junkfood addict

2. Lovesssss ketchup!

3. Violet is my color ( parehas tayo pishnge!)

4. Adores Ellen Degeneres and Shane of L word

5. Wants to learn how to drive

6. Scared of heights

7. Cant dance

9. Bashful ( walang kokontra!)

10. Can't live w/o a blanky.. ( Kahit tirik ang araw, naka kumot paden pag natutulog..keber na ang pawis!.. Lol)

NOW..

Im giving this award to..

Doc TQ, Mareng She, Mareng Mykee, Shammy, Madz, EJ, Tentay, Roge, Fruitshakemom, Onats donats

1 - 18..

2008-11-12T10:16:00.000-08:00

1) Single, Taken, Naked, or Flirt? Taken.. (honest!)

2) Are you happy with that? Yah,, Its ok...

3) Would you still kiss your ex? Friendly kiss..

4) Have you ever had your heartbroken?Yeah.. couple of times! and it sucks big time...

5) Do you believe that there are certain circumstances where cheating is ok? Its not ok to cheat.. Remember, K-A-R-M-A!

6) Have you ever talked about marriage? yeah.. wanna get married

7) Do you want children? no plans..

8) How Many? ....

9) If someone liked you right now,would you want him/her to tell you? It doesnt matter.. Im still taken.. even if she tells me that she likes me.. all i can offer is friendship!

10) Do you want someone you can't have? someone? nahhh..

11) Have you ever been in love? OF COURSE!

12) Do you believe in celebrating anniversaries? Yeah.. Its sooo romantic!!

14) Is it a good day? Its fine.. I guess..

15) What would you say about your most recent ex? Thank you and Goodbye..

16) Does your ex still have feelings for you? I dunno.. I havent asked her yet!

17) Do you believe in long distance relationships? LDR.. no..no..

18) Do you believe in love at first sight? "Attraction at first Sight"

Sa paskong darating..

2008-11-11T10:34:00.000-08:00

Malapit na ang pasko.. at eto ang christmas list ko..

Computer

Portable DVD player

Bagong Cellphone

PSP

Digicam

Victoria Secret na handbag

New shoes

Madaming bagong clothes

2 tickets papuntang Disneyland

Ang dami kung gustong bilhin hindi naman kakasya ang 13th month pay ko..hehe...actually kulang pa ang mga nakalista sa itaas..hehe.. gusto ko kase pag dateng nang pasko lahat nang gamet ko bago.. lahat maganda.. yung tipong kakainggitan ako nang iba dahil ako meron sila wala.. Nag sesecond childhood ata ako.. adik talaga ako! tsk.. Lol

Pero tuwing nauwi ako pag tapos nang shift ko at nakikita ko ang mga batang papasok pag dumdaan ang jeep sa isang public school..naiisip ko.. sila kaya anung gusto nila sa pasko?magkakaron kaya sila nang bagong gamet ngayong pasko? anu kayang handa nila?

Pansin na pansin ko ang mga kupas at tagpi tagping bag na bitbit nila..ingat na ingat para hindi ito bumigay.. May mga naka school shoes.. may mga naka sneakers.. yung iba naman naka tsinelas lang.. Pinag lumaan na nang panahon ang mga suot nilang uniform.. tila minana pa nila ito sakanilang nakakatandang kapatid.. Ngunit..subalit..datapwat.. bakas sa muka nila na kahit hindi maganda ang mga gamit nila.. pursigido paden silang pumasok at mag aral..halos madapa dapa pa ang iba habang nagmamadaling pumasok para umabot sa flag ceremony.

Naiisip ko tuloy.. sa isang gadget na bibilhin ko.. sobra sobrang gamet ang mabibili nang mga batang yun.. Higit pa sa mga bags,uniforms at sapatos.. pati gamet pang pasok at sangkatutak na librong pwede nilang gamitin para sa kanilang pag aaral..Makikinabang talaga sila ng bonggang bongga! Pero higit pa sa materyal na bagay ang makakamtan nila.. Kaligayahan at pagasa..di ito kailan man matutumbasan nang kahit anung materyal na bagay..

Napaka selfish ko den pala kung minsan.. hindi ako ako makuntento.. ang mga materyal na bagay na gustong gusto kung bilhin, pansamantala lang namang mag bibigay saken nang kaligayahan..Napakabawbaw ko..walang kwentang mga hiling kung tutuusin..

Siguro ngayung pasko.. imbis na ibili ko na lang nang materyal na bagay.. itatago ko na lang.. chaka ishashare ko den sa iba ang blessings na binigay sakin.. siguro naman fair na yun..

Pero gusto ko paden talaga nang PSP!! hmmmmff!

Si Gabby..

2008-11-05T10:23:00.001-08:00

Jham is..

sad..

worried..

scared..

Tinawagan ako nang nanay ko kahapon nang hapon.. Ginising pa ako nang gf ko para sabihing tumutunog ang cellphone ko.. Mejo groggy pa ako nang sinagot ko ang phone..

me: Ma..

mama: hello jham.. si gabby may sakit kelangang operahan..minor operation lang naman..

me: (meju nagising ang wisyo) anu? bakeeet?

mama: sa tonsils nya.. kelangang tanggalin.. may tonsili-ekek sya.. ( di ko maalala ang sakit) kelangan tanggalin dahil bumabara sa lalamunan nya..

me: ganun? (nakapikit paden)

mama: kasama ba sila sa health card mo? covered ba?

me: walang ganun ee..hindi kasali.. di ko sure

mama: ayy, ganun ba.. e sa phil health

me: oo sinulat ko sila dun..

mama: sige ayusin mo phil health mo.. padala mo dito.. mag hahanap den ako ng doctor.. meron den nga pala syang skin asthma.. napacheck up ko na sya...may gamot na akong nabili..

me: ok.. ok.. sige..

toot..toot..toot.. (putol na ang linya..)

Tulog..zZzzZZZZZzzzz

Pagising ko.. unang sumagi sa isip ko ang conversation namen nang nanay ko.. saka lang nag sink in ang problema.. Nagisip ako.. kung anung gagawin ko.. kung panu ako makakalikom nang pera.. kung panu ko aasikasuhin ang papers para sa phil health ko..

Naisip ko den ang bunso kung kapatid na si Gaby.. napaka gandang bata..loveable at charming..favorite nang lahat..kaso nga lang ang daming saket.. tsk..

naawa ako.. ooperahan sya.. sa talang buhay ko.. hindi pa ako naooperahan.. sa mura nyang isip.. naiintindihan nya kaya ang mga nangyayare sakanya ngayun? 6 years old palang sya.. ganyan na ang nangyayare saknya.. naawa talaga ako.. ayokong mahirapan ang mga taong mahal ko..

Napakalungkot..wala ako sa piling nila.. hindi ko sila maalagaan.. hindi ko sila kasama.. pero wala akong magagawa.. kelangan kung kumayod para mabuhay..para tulungan ang pamilya ko..

sana..

sana maging ok na ang lahat..

Halloween Special..

2008-11-04T04:23:00.000-08:00

(Ang mangkukulam at ang anak.. Lol)

(Ang mga puntod)

(3 hours lang namen ginawa toh.. kaya kulang na kulang ang masterpiece namen..(pate budget kulang).. hindi kame prepared.. kaya talo kame...Lol.. pero masaya naman eh.. nag enjoy kame mag decorate.. kahit maraming late na dumateng para tumulong at nag mala spiderman ako sa mga station makabait lang ang decorations..)

Love VS. Like

2008-10-22T06:56:00.000-07:00

It is very hard to distinguish the difference between liking and loving. Sometimes you can never tell if you are starting to feel love or your heart is just playing tricks on you. But from the meaning itself.. Liking is...Fondness..admiration.. now that doesn't necessarily mean that love is involved, right?

Sometimes I don't get the idea why people say that they have developed a romantic feeling towards someone even though they've only met once.. or twice.. I'm not saying that its impossible to happen. But for Christ's sake, how can you love someone if you don't even know what's her true personality?

Maybe that's the reason why I don't believe in Love at first sight. It's so pathetic. Hindi naman tayu instant noodles diba? and please there are certain aspects that needs to be considered before you finally tell yourself that yes, you are truly in love.

The bottom line is.. there's a fine line between loving and liking. Never assume that you love the person or you are falling for the person just because your comfortable when you're with her and she makes you feel special. Love is a process.. you don't have to be in a hurry..why? because you might end up falling with nobody catching you..

Masakit yun diba?

My song..

2008-10-21T12:04:00.000-07:00

I Keep Fallin'
Alicia Keys

I keep on fallin’

In and out of love With you

Sometimes I love ya

Sometimes you make me blue

Sometimes I feel good

At times I feel used

Lovin you darlin’

Makes me so confused

I keep on Fallin’

In and out of love with you

I never loved someone

The way that I love you

Oh, oh, I never felt this way

How do you give me so much pleasure

And cause me so much pain

Just when I think

I've taken more than would a fool

I start fallin’ back in love

with you

I keep onFallin’

In and out of love with youI

never loved someone

The way that I love you

Oh baby

I, I, I, I’m fallin’

Fallin

I keep on Fallin’

In and out of love with you

I never loved someone

The way that I love you

I keep on Fallin’

In and out of love with you

I never loved someone

The way that I love you

I'm fallin’

In and out of love with you

I never loved someone

The way that I love you

EB pics

2008-10-21T08:05:00.001-07:00

From left to right: She, Myk2ts,Tequilabreath,Jham, Tentay and Mel

From left to right : Kagandahan, Butch (kuno!), Asexual, Di tiyak, Sobrang dyosa at Dyosa lang.

Ibat ibang anglo nang pag mamahal..

2008-10-20T08:13:00.000-07:00

Lahat naman tayo nag hahangad nang totoong pagmamahal. Lahat tayo kapag nag mahal, lageng nateng iniisip na ang dumating na taong yun ay ang taong makakasama naten habang buhay...

Pero may iba...sa sobrang pag mamadaling maghanap ang taong mag papasaya sakanila, imbis na mag lakad.. tumatakbo.. nagmamadali..kung minsa'y hindi nagiisip.. mapakitaan lang nang kabutihan,perfect combination na. mabigyan lang nang bulaklak na inlove na...kaya anung ending? may sugat na.. may peklat pang nakatatak sa puso na kahit kelan ay hinding hindi na mabubura..

Yung iba naman, tapos na ang lahat.. suyo paden nang suyo..nag dadasal na baka ma aayos pa ang mga bagay na hindi nila napag kasunduan.. Umaasang sa papamagitan nang pagiging tanga.. lilingon uli ang taong mahal nya, at aayusin ang relasyong puno na nang lamat..

May mga sitawasyong deng hindi mo maexplika kung bakit napupunta sa wala ang isang relasyon. Kung titingan mo sa malayo, wala kang makikitang bahid nang kamalian. Maiingit ka pa nga dahil nag mamahalan sila nang tunay. Pero kung sisipatin mong mabuti at pag mamasdan.. makikita mong sa loob..marami palang problema.. nagkakasakitan na pala.. sa sobrang lapit nila sa isat isa, hindi na nila makita ang problemang sumisira sa pundasyong binuo nila.. hindi nila namamalayan na matagal na palang gumuho ang relasyong naging sentro nang mga buhay nila.

Ang iba nama'y patay malisya na lang sa mga problema. Nakahain na nga lahat lahat, nag bubulag bulagan pa. Nawalan na nang gana ang isa, hindi paren pinapansin..walang ginagawa..hindi nag iisip nang sulosyon..manhid..in short, patay na ang relasyong minsang bumuhay sa kanilang dalawa..

Hindi ba.. pag nagmamahal ka, dapat masaya.. walang problema..walang sakit na nararamdaman.. Pero bakit nangyayare ang mga sitwaysong nakasaad sa itaas? dahil ba maling tao ang minahal? wrong timing ba? meron sakanila ang mas nag mahal.. hindi balanse, o kaya naman hindi sapat?

Bakit kaya ganun? Akala ko tuloy nung bata ako.. masarap mag mahal.. masaya.. hindi pala.. may hangganan pala ang lahat.. pili lang pala ang mapapalang natutupad ang mga love stories nila..

Ikaw? anung naranasan mo na bang mag mahal? anu namang kwento mo?

EB namen..

2008-10-20T06:40:00.000-07:00

Date: October 18, 2008

Day: Saturday

Time: Around 7am

Venue: Trellis Market!Market

Last saturday.. natupad na ang plano nameng mga bloggera na mag meet.. EB of the century! Mejo jahe pa nga ako lumapit nun kase hindi naman ako sanay makipag eb.. bakla ng taon nga daw ako sabi ni Mareng She.. But..Finally, nagkitakita den kame.. Ako, sila Tentay, Myk2ts, Tequilabreath at Si Mareng She..

Usapan namen 7am.. So kame nila Myk2ts at She sakto lang ang dateng.. May dalawang late.. Si Tentay.. na pag dateng pusturang pustura..kala mo pupuntang concierto.. at si Doc F. (Tequila), na almost 9am na nagpakita..

Hindi naman kme nagpakalango.. tamang inom lang.. enjoy enjoy.. sharing ang naganap mga kapatid.. nagka labasan nang kanya kanyang kwento tungkol sa mga lovelife.. may bitter butter, may nag rereklamo, may nakakaiyak na kwento at may nag papakamestiryosa.. Panalo ang pag ka kulit ni Myk2ts..hindi ko kinaya ang mga punch lines.. labas ngala-ngala ko kakatawa!!infairness ha.. nung una pinagkamalan namen syang lesbyana..hahaha!! Si Mareng she, poise..sopistikada.. Si doc F, ayun maya't maya may kausap na pasyente sa phone..hehe..

My mga non showbiz friends den kameng kasama.. Bitbit ko ang dyosang kung friend na si Mel (na magkakaron nang blog at ang URL ay anungpinakamasakitsamasakit.blogspot.com) at friend nila Mareng She at Myk2ts na si Ella..ella..ella.. :)

Pero over all impact, uber!!sobrang saya!! sana maulit ulit.. at next tym.. sasama na si Shamy (emoterang nurse) at kung sino pang gustong maki-EB samen..

susunod: Videoke naman..

Dahil emo sila.. pati ako nahahawa..

2008-10-16T08:42:00.000-07:00

Hangang saan ang kaya mong gawin kapag nagmamahal ka? willing ka bang mag pakatanga ng bonggang bongga para hindi mawala ang taong nag papasaya nang puso mo? kaya mo bang gawin lahat nang pinapapagawa sayo, kahit alam mong the feeling is not matual?

Habang nag mamasid masid ako at pinapakinggan ang problema nang mga kaibigan ko tungkol sa love life nila bigla kung napagtanto na napaka daya talaga nang pag ibig.. Kung sino pa ang mga mababait at seryoso sila pa ang nagagalusan at nasasaktan.. samantala ang mga taong walang ginawa kundi manakit at manloko.. prenteng prente pa.. kampante.. secured..

Bakit ba kase pinaglulupitan nang tadhana ang mga taong tapat mag mahal? To think sila yung nag sasacrifice at sila yung laging nagbibigay.. sila yung mahaba ang pasensya.. sila ang laging umiintindi..sila lahat.. lagi na lang ba sila?

Hangang kelan ba dapat magtiis ang isang taong nagmamahal?hangang kelan ba sila mag bubulag bulagan?kelan ba mauubos ang luha? kelan ba titigil ang sakit na nararamdaman nang mga taong walang ginawa kundi magbigay at magmahal nang totoo? Kelan matatapos ang emo mode nila? Hanngang kelan kaya sila aasa?

Isa lang ang konklusyon ko..at nasabi ko na to noon..

Kung hindi banlag o duling si kupido.. kailangan nya mag training nang Archery...

Questions..

2008-10-13T06:35:00.000-07:00

(Salamat mareng myk2ts.. ahahaha..)

1. Raincoat, umbrella o sugod sa ulan?
>sugod na lang.. ayoko nga nag dadala ng payong.. nakakasira nang outfit.. hahaha

2. Sometimes you hate cellphones because _____?
> sagabal sa mga lakad...heheh..

3. Paano mo patayin ang ipis?
>paluin mo nang kahit na anung matigas.. pwede..walis..tsinelas o kung carry mo kamayin mo na lang...

4.Anong una mong pinupuntahan sa mall?
>depende.. minsan sa fave clothing shop ko.. or pwede den sa grocery..o sa may mga sale..

5. Nahulog ka na ba sa stairs?
> dalawang beses na.. yung una.. perfect na perfect.. natulak ako nang barkada ko.. at tumambling akong literal..
> yung second.. muntikan na sa elbow room.. pauwi na ako.. sumabit ang takong ko sa step, buti nalang at nakahawak ako sa railings kung hindi sira ang outfit ko.. (naka corp ako nun)

6. Message mo sa mahal mo?
>mahal kita.. kahit minsan feeling ko wala kang pakiaalam sakin.. (gumaganon?)

8. Naiilang ka ba pag ikaw lang ang kumakain at nakatingin sila sayo?
>minsan.. pero pag gutom ako.. wala akong pakiaalam.. pero mamimigay den naman ako..

9. Bakit may mga taong manhid?
> yan ang di ko alam.. cguro masyado lang silang self centered at hindi nila nawawalayan ang mga nakapalibot sakanila..

10. Pano ka magalit?
>tahimik lang ako.. pweo kapag sumobra.. gera na to..

11. Anong Maganda/Masarap Gawin sa Outing w/ Barkada?
>shempre.. wala nang tatalo sa....LASINGAN!! heheeh

12. How was your 2008 Summer?
>nagtrabaho nang nag trabaho ng nag trabaho.. in short.. walang buhay!

13. How long was your longest telebabad?
> hindi ako mahilig magtelebabad e.. siguro hangang 15-30 mins lang..

14. Last place you've been to?
>Sa bahay nila Mia at Yeah.. nag inuman!

15. They say you are:
>adik daw ako..abnormal ba.. hindi kaya!! hahaha..

16. How old are you?
>25

17. Last thing you drank?
>H2o..

18. You want to?
>Go home and sleep..

19. Bakit naman?
> masmasarap matulog kaysa magtrabaho!

20. Mahirap bang umasa?
> oo naman.. nagmumukha kaseng tanga ee!! heheh!!

21. Anong nafe-feel mo ngayon?
> ang kati nang lalamunan ko at inaantok pa ako!!

22. What's the last thing you did?
>mag check ng mails,mag login sa lesbit at lezpinay

23. Last person you talked to.
> Kuya Marvin

25. Do you receive sweet txt messages?
>havent check my mobile yet..

26. Busy ka ba?
>nag bubusy-busyhan! hehe

27. Did you get sick this month?
> awa ng diyos.. ubo lang naman.. dahil sa allergy ko sa pabango! hehe!

Tequilabreath's promise..

2008-10-09T11:27:00.000-07:00

Promise mo diba.. zoom mo para makita mo doc!! hehehe!!!see you October 18, 2008.. before 9:00am.. Market!Market!

Tumambling ka muna...

2008-10-08T14:26:00.000-07:00

ex: ..anu tayu na uli..

me: ..sira ulo ka ba..my jowa ka na diba..adik!

ex: ..sus! wala yun..hindi nga..ano? (sabay akbay)

me: ..para kang tanga..

ex: ..anu nga?

me: ..babalikan kita kapag nagtumbling ka ng mula kanto ng street na to..hangang sa dulo..

ex: ..sige..

Labasan kameng lahat..pumunta sa dulo..

me: ..anu..

ex: ..eto na..

(tumbling.. tumbling..tumbling..)

ex: ..nahihilo na ako eeeee..

me: ..malayo pa..

ex: ..hay.. oo nga...

( more tumblings....)

Nang na 1/4 na nya ang kalsada...

ex: (napaupo sabay biglang umiyak) ..eeee bakit kayu tumatawa?

me: ..T****** mo pala sabi mo kaya mo eh..

ex: (umiiyak paden) ..pinagmumukha mo akong tanga eeee!

me: ..bakit pinilit ba kita hah?

ex: ..hikbi.. hikbi..

Minsan, para makaisa ka sa mga exe mong gumago sayo.. kelangan mong magisip nang paraan para sila naman ang mag mukhang tanga..

"matalino man ang matsing.. naiisahan parin"

After 25 years

2008-10-07T08:00:00.000-07:00

Sa 25 years kung nakatira sa mundong ibabaw.. natutunan kung..

1. Iba ang Love sa "kilig"..

2. You cannot please everybody..

3. Hindi lahat ng kaibigan mo.. kaibigan mo..

4. Masakit umibig.. pero mas masakit ang maloko..

5. Maraming players sa mundo.. dapat mag ingat..

6. Hindi lang pag ibig ang nag papaikot sa mundo..

7. Hindi iiyak ang mundo para sayo..

8. Nanjan lang palagi si "Karmy" Karma..

9. Wala kang mapapala kung mangangrap ka lang.. kelangan mo gumawa ng paraan para matupad ito..

10. Tawanan ang problema.. pero wag kalimutang gawan ito nang solusyon..

11. Hindi ka pwedeng maging "Asa Barandal".. kelangan magtrabaho para mabuhay..

12. Minsan kelangan mong mamili ng kaibigan..

13. Kelangan mong maging madiskarte para hindi ka mapagiwanan..

14. Iwasang magkautang.. para iwas sakit ng ulo (credit cards, loans..)

15. OK lang uminom, magyosi at gumimik.. wag lang sobra sobra..

16. Kelanganng magipon..para sa future at para may huhugutin pag emergencies..

17. Dapat mag enjoy naman paminsan, wag masyadong mag pakasubsob sa trabaho..nakakatanda!

18. Maging totoo sa sarili.. hindi kailangang mag sinungaling sa ibang tao para magustuhan ka nila.

19. Ang buhay ay walang katapusang pag aaral..

20. Magisip nang maraming beses bago gumawa ng isang desisyon..

21. Makisama nang mabuti para walang makaaway..

22. Mahalin at alagaan ang sarili habang bata..

23. Wag abusuhin ang mga taong mababait sayo..

24. Makuntento kung anong meron ka..

25. Magtira nang onting pag mamahal sa sarili para hindi lubos na masaktan kapag iniwanan ka..

Si mama, ako at ang pagiging lesbyana ko...

2008-10-02T11:49:00.000-07:00

My mom never questioned me kung bakit ako, panganay sa tatlong magkakapatid, babaeng babae pumorma at maraming barkadang lalake e nagkakagusto sa kapwa babae..(pero hindi ako butch, femme ako)..hindi ko naman actually sinabi sa mom ko nang deretchuhan na hindi ako straight...Naamoy na lang nya...napansin na iba ang mga kasama ko. ..Biruin mo ba naman, nung 18th birthday ko ni anino nang lalaki wala syang nakita sa party ko.... puros butch, femme, sb at mga mag-on ang nandun. diba nakakaloka!

Pero hindi ko alam kung matutuwa ako dahil open ang mom ko sa ganung relationship o iisiping wala syang pakiaalam sakin...Yung iba kaseng friends ko kinukuwento nila, nung nalaman nang mga parents nilang lesbian sila...kung hindi nasasaktan ng bonggang bongga, grounded forever o tinataboy at pinapalayas sila.

Inggit nga ibang friends ko sakin, kase ako nasasabi ko sa mom ko na my jowa akong butch. Pero infairness naman nung una akong nag dala ng kaon sa bahay, nag sunget sungetan effect ang nanay ko..Pero feeling ko..nawindang lang nanay ko nun dahil bigla akong nag out at nagbitbit ng tibo nang walang kaabog abog.. kala ko non magagalit nanay ko at magkakaron ng world war III sa bahay.. hindi pala.. ok naman pala..wala palang problema..Naalala ko pa nun..umiyak pa ako sa harap ng nanay ko one time dahil niloko ako nang jowa kung butch.. niyakap nya lang ako, tapos sabi nya lang.. "ok lang yan, babae lang yan! ".. winner sa linya si mother!

Napagtantu ko ngayon na mali ang pananaw ko na wala pakiaalam nanay ko sakin. Ang totoo e naiintindihan nya pala ako at hinahayaan lang nya akong gawin ang mga bagay na nakakapag paligaya sakin. Hindi nya na ako tinanong kung bakit ako nag ka ganito o pinilit na mag bago..hindi nya ako kinahiya o ipinagtabuyan..

Naisip ko, tama nga mga kaibigan ko.. napaka swerte ko nga sa nanay ko.. kahit mahirap tanggapin..pinilit nyang intindihin ang sitwasyon ko..ang kalagayan ko..binigyan nya ako ng kalayaan para hindi ko na kailangan mag tago at mag kunwaring straight ako..minahal nya ang buo kung pagkatao..at higit sa lahat..hinayaan nya akong maging masaya..

An oath to remember..

2008-10-01T09:50:00.000-07:00

The adventure of Jhamywhoops

Beki and Homos attack Taguig!

Wala lang.. napaisip lang ako..

Virtual MakeOver

Lets help our kapwa kagay-anons!

GLAM ROCK 2011

KUNG FU fighting

Anderson Show

I MISS YOU BLOG

So they say..

Torn

Beauty pageant gone wrong..

Whats on my mind right now..

Waiting

A love story..

I love you Sabado

Puerto Gallera!

When Bored..

Sari saring salitang binuo para makagawa nang kwento..2

Back then..

I wanna..

This is it!

Galing sa kaibigan kung web designer. :-)

wHaT I aM maDe OF.. :)

Fwends...

Araw mo ngayon..

Jam speaks about his father..

Kame date.. kayo ngayon..

Talking..you and me..

Radom blah blah blah..

Sari saring salitang binuo para makagawa nang kwento..

Love? oh yeah Love...

Life..oohh..Life...

Nakakamiss.. Nakakaiinis...

Tsug*Tsug*

Tick Tock.. 2010..2011..

My wishlist for this year

Jologs-inator

100 Truths

This is my life..part II

This is my life.. part I

untitled blah blah..

Someday..

Eh birthday ko kase..kaya gusto ko sabihin to!

Happy birthday Jam (27 NA AKO!)

Playing with the devil....

Good girl gone bad

You again..

Counting...

You..

C U when I C U..

My song..

Single..

Bang..Bang..Ouch!

Guarded..

The Hardest Thing - 98 degrees

Jam's short story

Isang araw sa BOHOL!

Gone..

.....

AKO..

An open letter

GOOGLE YOUR NAME...

wHaT's In My HeAd...

At dahil jan...

INKS...

N.Y.R

Happy New Year

Ive been bad..

Chasing Pavements

Missing blogspot..

Nasaan na ba?

Art Attack

ATTENTION:BLOGGA-FWENDS

EMUSIC TEAM BUILDING (Batangas)

NEW ACCOUNT...

ONE MORE CHANCE...

Dito...

FHM MODEL???

QA...QA.. QA..

TsugTsug